Our First Weekend with Ewan

Our first weekend with Ewan has been swell. He and his brother Alexei have been quite the busy pair. Alexei can become overly paranoid though and go into panic when he feels his brother needs our attention and we must pick up Ewan immediately.

Ewan found Alexei's Mickey Mouse Club quite entertaining. I must admit Michael has been taking care of everything Ewan. I think he is just totally attached and adores him like crazy. I have been with Alexei trying to soak up as much time with him as possible before they are to go back home for Halloween. I am going to need lots of photos. I so miss the pumpkin patch time with Alexei and the wheel barreling and trick or treating downtown Edmonds.

So far, I have been thinking of every food I can possibly think of back home. A couple here mentioned Starbucks, Outback and Bonefish and yet they are going back home tomorrow. Aargh lol. I was like thai food downtown Edmonds, Fish n Chips on the water watching the ferries, chinese food at PF Changs, gluten free cupcakes at Pink Bella at Alderwood Mall, Iced pumpkin Spice Latte, which will probably be Iced Soymilk Eggnog Latte by the time I return.

I hope this year though to take the boys to the Christmas celebrations downtown Bellevue, decorate for Christmas and get the house ready for the holidays and family coming in. I think I will just paint the pink out of the girls room and exchange it with another color to make a play room for the boys. They need as much storage as possible with their clothes and toys.

The boys, well I am not sure who is influencing who. I will say they are double trouble to the MAX and yet are only 3 days in. God help me Kristine if you are reading this, I will be turning to your pages daily HAHAHA. Boys are so much fun and I must say I am probably a good woman to have 2 boys but will they be hell on wheels 1 year apart in ages?! Sure Will!!!

Ewan does everything Alexei does and sadly Alexei does everything that Ewan does, which is not always the best case scenario Mr. Alexei Booth who should be the older influence.

This morning Alexei and I were dancing to MTV in the hotel room. Okay, so sometimes the songs are not as age appropriate as we would like but at this point I have learned it just can't be helped as exposure is everywhere. BUT, LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I Know It" came on and as we all know Alexei loves this band. Next thing I know, he is running down the hall saying,

"I'm sexy and I know it....I work out." LOL. If you know this song, then you know how hilarious this could be, yes, even from a 3 year old.

We took a very nice walk outside after a bit of snow, no sticking though but my boys are snow boys for sure. It is beautiful and crisp outside.

We Welcome Ewan Mikhailovich to the Booth Clan

After a very long day in court, in traffic and I mean like Los Angeles traffic, the type that makes you want to cry lol, we give a huge welcome to our new little man who will be joining our Clan:

Ewan Mikhailovich Booth

Photos will be coming as of October 25th.

There are many people to thank in the States, Canada and in Russia, however I am going to speak of those in Russia tonight since we just finalized court and we got through just as they said we would.

Thank you to Anya and Irina. Thank you both and all of the hands that went into making this possible in Russia. You all are like family from the first time and have given us not one but two beautiful boys that we cannot be more thankful for.

Irina, during court took my Alexei out shopping, trying on hats you name it and he loved it.

Anya, I feel like that traffic was going to take eternity. I know you spend your days running around Vladivostok like it is nothing but we are eternally grateful to you and everything you have done for us. We just adore you and so does Alexei ;)

I am so utterly exhausted from not sleeping the past two days that I must make this short, I will update more this weekend.

Court Day

It is funny but the first time we had court, I was not nervous, this time around I have been sitting, just wanting to get this over with and done with right now. Why do I have to sleep in between now and court? lol.

I suppose it has been everything that has led us to this day. Today I spent having to re-do our court photo album. I had to tear all of our little girl's photos out and paste on new photos I had the hotel print up over our little boy. There is no doubt this road has been quite the journey. We are really tired emotionally I think and now that we are to the court day, it is like aahhhhh, let's get this done with.

Sadly, I hoped to connect with both of our families prior to court, however that did not happen due to the time zone.

I guess it will not be for a couple of days since we will not get back early tomorrow.

Celebratory dinner: Well hoping hehe. Do not want to jinx anything.

I have been bribing Alexei like crazy to be good outside of the court room. He is pleading with me to be with us and the judge and has flipped out about not being in the same room. Transitioning galore. We will see what happens. Sorry Irena ahead of time. :)

After court, I still have another almost 3 weeks left and then back home to settle in and I do look forward to seeing my doggies and my son and husband again. Being away from Alexei for 2 weeks is making my stomach turn. At least I will have some bonding time with my son. Juliya, our babysitter will come and rescue me the last week and help me get home on the total traveling time of 18 hours, which is completely over night for us and we will arrive in Seattle at noonish on November 2nd. I think I will have been up for over 24 hours, god help me. THANK GOODNESS for help as we will not have a layover in Seoul. Looking forward to being able to simply go to the bathroom on the plane lol. Sounds crazy but could never figure out what to do with Alexei, put him in the sink?!

Hopefully by tomorrow, I will have good news to announce.

Sleep, sleep, sleep, ugh. Sleep.

Court Tomorrow!

The Good News

Michael returned from the baby hospital and said today Ewan ran down the hall and said Papa and pointed to Michael's chest. This is huge!!

He proceeded to say Papa a couple more times pushing his finger into Michael's chest. We are very thankful for this and so love the attachment. Crossing our fingers everything will go smoothly.

Mulling over Adoption and Loss- A Personal Story from my Son

I was saving this story for when we came back home with our little girl: Alexei and I were sitting on a chair looking at baby home #3's children. I was scrolling down the photos. Our first girl referral was on the wall. Alexei didn't think that was his sister. As we went through the photos, Alexei stopped me and yelled, "That's my sister!" and I said "Who? Her?" pointing at the referral we didn't know we were about to receive once we arrive in Russia after losing our first girl. I said to Alexei, "No, that is not your sister", pointing to the wall at our first girl. He was very serious and said, "No, that is my sister!" Pointing to a photo online at a girl.

When we arrived in Russia after a very difficult week trying to get there, we found out we lost our first girl. We were sent a new girl and guess who that girl was? The girl Alexei pointed out as his sister. My mouth dropped and I just sat there staring at this girl with tears in my eyes. I said to Michael who knew the story, "That's the same girl Alexei chose out of all of those photos!" He said to me, "I know, it was meant to be".

Those who heard this story often said to me, "See, it was meant to be. It's fate." I was waiting to tell this story because I knew it would give her away possible for those who know how to get there.

The truth is, it wasn't meant to be. Although my son chose our next referral before we knew, she wasn't meant to be his sister. Now, having said this, he is still head strong on this girl. In fact, he hugged her when he met her without our prompting. I look at the video of them together and it seemed so natural. She just loved him for some reason and he loved her. I go into tears as I write this as my son is still so attached for some reason to this girl who has been taken away from us and yet he thought he knew all along and still does that this is his sister.

When I was passing through videos the other day, he caught a glimpse of the video with he and this girl and he yelled out, "I want her! This one!"

People say fate brought you to this new little boy and I say, fate has a sick way of bringing us to things. I am not happy with fate right now. Maybe a year to come but this little girl will never leave our hearts and obviously my son's heart who chose her long before we knew her.


Part 2:

We do not have a huge amount of downtime just yet and we will be adjusting to transitions in no time.

I have been thinking of our little girls room as I know it is something I must face when I return home so that I can have it ready for our little boy, Ewan.

9 pairs of shoes, raincoats, sweater dresses, like 10 pairs of girlie pants and jeans, ruffled skirts, several onesies, beautiful dresses (quite a few), hair bands, clips, lots of pink stuffed animals, pink Paris bedding, pink and black walls with pale green, princess books lining the shelves, princess and Alice framed Disney lithographs on the walls, our first pink converse for her, tights, girlie socks, knitted girlie flower hats and do I go on?

All I can say is wow, that girl was set and we hadn't even had the baby shower in California yet.

Thank goodness for hand me downs, although lol that will be another few months before he will be in those. Super hero shirts here we come. He may be stuck with pink stuffed animals though. The rest will have to be boxed and stored some where. I hope to one day have the boys share a room and maybe turn the current room into a play room.

Tough to figure it all out. I guess the hurdle is, get through it, do it and move forward, which is our goal. My parents will be flying in to help with the changes and we will figure out what we can do. I may just take the pink out of the walls.

I often walk around with a lump in my throat and imagine this is normal and expected. Michael has on display her teddy bear in our room from Korea. It is a beautiful teddy bear we got her before our first trip. It is hard to see but this is how he copes.

I guess I wish at times she was not so attached. She wasn't so huggy. She would've just been eh, okay you guys are here again to see me. Alas she was all of the opposite. A bright, cheery girl who smiled all of the time, in every photo and on every video. She hugged us all of the time. Even when they told Michael, she is not used to men, she may be scared, she just jumped into his arms like it was nothing. She was just soooo incredible. I know fate has it's ways but put me in a boxing ring with fate for a bit because honestly the road is often just too bumpy and I know many of you mothers out there, no matter what you have experienced with loss, know what I am saying.

Adoptive parents and often birth parents have so much to go through. Miscarriages, stillborns, loss that is so great that it is unimaginable to have to go through it often multiple times. We didn't get here easily, we got here because we went through so much loss, we chose adoption.

Today my son asked me, "Where is Papa?" And I said, "Papa is visiting your brother." And Alexei asked, "When will he visit my sister?" Here we are a week or so later and my son is still fighting the loss. At 3 he knows so much and yet at 2 he remembers and knows so much even where he came from, his baby home and Russia. We often think oh, they will not remember such things but it is what happens now that often shows how we deal with things down the road.

I know Alexei will eventually love his little brother but for now he will fight us I think until I bring Ewan home and he sees him at his house and the advantages of having a brother.

All of these things in adoption are so great, extremely trying and you just keep chugging along. I cannot be more grateful to have Alexei and know how many families out there have been created by adoption. The happiness in the long run brings all of these trials worth it. Our little girls will be in our hearts forever. The first one we connected with for 5 weeks through a simple photo and the second girl who we deeply attached too.

The Vlad Family Network & Special People: Thank You

Friends are at times the most surprising and most incredible people. I have to give a shout out to my Orphans at Play Biz Partners, Sabrina and Heather. Thank you girls SO much for helping out and trying to get a box here to me for our new little one with clothes and odds and ends.

Sometimes words just do not express the emotions one feels when something so deep happens to a fellow girlfriend and family and yet it is those people who step up and say, "I am there". I have ..... well honestly I am at a loss for words.

Ashley, thank you for waiting for the box and offering anything you can to bring us. So much appreciated.

And a big shout out to all of my fellow adoptive parents who have been there talking to me and keeping my chin up when I felt like things were just falling apart.

Dianna, my love you make me smile. Jennifer, my online girlie, you keep me talking, Sabrina, you keep me honest about what is going on inside, Heather O for being there and lending your support, Stella, you make me laugh and keep my hopes up, Vanessa, you protect my family at home and make me feel okay, Patricia Mc, I know you are always there feeling me, Patricia L, I love the way you push answers get me fiery ;), Kristine, Well you've been there since the beginning of our journey along with the core Marie, Tanya and Patricia who have kept me strong, Amy, you are a bright light of hope and strength, Amy R, always there with a smile and giving kind words, Heather E for your wisdom, Shari, Kelley and Jody for your kindness, April for your feisty keeping me on my toes girlie, Joel and Clarion for sharing your journey and wisdom, Sandy, for your persistent hang in there, Sherry for being so kind with your words and giving us hope, Tracy, it was a pleasure and your warmth was well appreciated, Trisha, your stories and well wishes, Laura, in being along similar roads and sharing our experiences, Christi and Tom, my second family and partners in the journey, Shonna, my rock, Cristine, always there with words of wisdome, Steve and Pamela, partners in adoption, Kristeen, always there to make me laugh, Kristine, although we came back to Russia, I have enjoyed our conversations and simply the world of adoption, gosh and so many more, if I left out anyone, I didn't mean to as you all mean the world to me.

Vladivostok Second Family: The extension in our adoption, the one's who make it happen in country are so often the one's running around working their hardest to do what we need done in order to build our family and bring a child home. Anya, Irena and Stass. It is simple: You are forever a connection to our children and to our lives. You all make this possible and get us through even the hardest of times.

PFA: For launching us into this journey and CSHW for the constant patience through all of the changes.

Family at Home: The parents are a huge one. They are the one we call late at night or early in the morning when we do not know who else to call. They are the one's who must listen. Brothers and Sisters, you all know who you are. A leaning shoulder when times are tough.