Monday, March 14, 2011

My Thoughts on Re- Adoption

Re-Adoption is not for everyone in particular myself, however I do know many parents do this re-adoption and it is really what each individual feels is best for their family. I respect their decision, however here is why it is not for me or for our son.

My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and my mother re-married a few years later. There was an adoption done and my birth certificate was changed as it is normal for legal matters and this is just what happens.

This is a huge reason I cannot do re-adoption for my son. I feel like when my birth certificate was changed, a part of me was then changed and taken from me as it changed a bit of who I was when born. A part of my history.

I accept the Russian adoption and birth certificate done where he is from in Vladivostok, Russia and we are his parents as I can explain to him his story as I have done in his life book, however I can never have him re-adopted here as it is just not the "real" birth certificate. It is like saying he was born here in the U.S., this is my understanding and this is not true and therefore I cannot change that for him. I cherish his Russian culture, where he is from and cannot wait to take him back to Russia and know where he is from later in his life.

For me to change his birth certificate to a U.S. one is making a decision for him he may not want later in life and may resent.

At the moment:

He was born in Russia: LOVE that about him and would not want to change that for the world.
He is now a U.S. Citizen and Russian Citizen. Again, LOVE it, what a lucky boy to have both for now.
At age 18, he can decide what he wants to do with his citizenship and this will be his decision alone.

I love my boy with all of my heart and both his Papa and I feel very strongly that he can make his own decisions later in life on how he wants to live his life. We will be there to guide him.

I do realize there are advantages in the case of needing certified copies, however usually you just make a copy, notarize and apostille these copies. If you need the original birth certificate than I can understand this.

The personal and legal issues that are connected with these decisions make it a difficult decision overall as I see parents on one side saying they would never re-adopt here in the U.S. and I see parents who rush to re-adopt.

I would love to know the reasons, if willing to share those who want to re-adopt in the U.S. for as much research as I have done, it seems there are possibly good reasons for people to adopt on the legal front.

- 27 states do not recognize often the adoption decree. I am a bit put off by this as he is a U.S. citizen.

- The need of certified copies of birth certificates, which I believe you do not necessarily need several of the original birth certificates. Have any parents had issues with non-readoption in the U.S.?

Sunday, March 13, 2011

First Ice Skating Adventure

This weekend was Michael's birthday and we decided to spend the weekend together as a family. This ended up being a great chance to take Alexei out on his first skate today. He was of course dressed in a hockey jersey and an Ovechkin one at that!

After the skate we decided to go and measure him for hockey skates. Since he is only a size 7 in hockey size, size 8.5 in shoe size we had to order them SO his BAUER skates are on the way!

Within 2 minutes of sitting him down and lacing them up, a hockey coach came up to him from the Seattle Hockey Association and asked if he would be interested in the beginners hockey games/practices this summer. AWESOME! It must have been the fact he was fully hockey accessorized from gloves, helmet to jersey haha.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

HomeStudy and Dossier 1

Dossier 1 is just about ready along with the homestudy, hopefully by this week and no later than end of next week. Although I am still happy either way as it was a surprise to have such an early return on the fingerprints.

Last time around it took 5 weeks total, however fingerprints only took 3 weeks.

This time around we started the process in January and it is now second week in March, hopefully we can get the dossier to our agency by the end of March.

Some changes this time but nothing we cannot handle so far. It is funny but I am actually looking forward to the waiting period. I would not have said that last time, however I think it is a time where I can just wait for a call with excitement and not worry about what has to be done. Although, I do have to start preparing the dossier 2 lol but just preparations.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Kids Say the Funniest Things....

Alexei: That's my sisters room.
(pointing to a photo)
Mama: Yes, it is.
Alexei: I love it!


Alexei: No, I want those shoes.
Mama: Today, you have to wear these. It is cold outside.
Alexei: But I want those shoes, they are cooler.


Conversation in regard to his babysitter
Alexei: I need the phone.
Mama: Why do you need the phone?
Alexei: I must call Juliya.
Mama: You will see her tomorrow.
Alexei: I must call Juliya. (I must not be understanding him ;))
Mama: Use your Elmo phone.
Two minutes later.
Alexei: Hello. Juliya? Yes, I must see you now so we can play. Come over. Bye bye.
A minute later he approaches me.
Alexei: Mama, you need to open the door, Juliya is here to play with me.


Last night, no idea where or how he knew.
Alexei: Mama, I want to sit with you.
In bed getting ready to sleep.
Mama: It is bed time. You need to go to sleep.
Alexei: I want to sit with you. (I must be forgetful you see, he repeats the same thing a lot).
Mama: Okay, come on.
He pulls the covers up and look at me.
Alexei: Mama has boo boo on her shoulder?
Mama: Yes, Alexei but how did you know?
Alexei: Mama has boo boo on her shoulder you see.


Driving and leaving the house, we pass our regular coffee stop.
Alexei: Mama, I need my coffee now.
Mama: Alexei, you had hot cocoa already and I have had my coffee.
Alexei: I really feel like I need some coffee, you know, I really think so.
Mama: Listen to some music. Rock it out.
Alexei dancing in seat to some alternative song.
Alexei: Mama! Mama!
Alexei: Stop at store, I need hot pockets.
Mama: We have some at home.
Alexei: No, I need hot pockets.


Discussing the television.
Alexei: Mama, I want to watch Pumpkin Jack please.
Mama: Maybe after lunch.
Alexei: Here is remote.
Mama: That is not the right remote.
Alexei: Here is remote. (he is now bringing me the 2nd remote)
Mama: I need another remote.
Alexei: Here it is Mama. (He has now brought me the 3rd remote)
Mama: I need the volume remote.
Alexei: Ok. (He runs looking and amazingly find the last remote. Honestly universal should really be the answer)
Alexei: I found it! Pumpkin Jack. Pumpkin Jack.
Mama: I don't have the move down here. (2 minutes later, Alexei is standing in front of me with the dvd. Sigh)
Alexei: Here is the movie. (looking at me hopeful)
Mama: Give me a second Alexei to finish this. (working on computer)
Background: "This is Halloween, this is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, in this town we call home...." Alexei is now singing the song as he dances around holding onto the dvd case.


A sampling of two year old conversations with my son. Some may be short and sweet, others very long and repetitive, but most of all, when it comes to every day conversation with my son, it can be quite hilarious.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Items to bring with you on Travels

I have had to take another round of adoption classes and get prepared for the next adoption travel. In case you are traveling soon, I have provided a list of items to pack. I hope I remember everything. I have to say we used just about everything on these lists last trip and you can get them in a small size.
- soap
- antibacterial hand cleanser
- prescription medications
- sunscreen (I took the cloth sunscreen as they are lighter to pack)
- facial tissue
- toilet tissue (I took this and toilet seat covers as they are not often in bathrooms)
- scissors (I purchased the camping fold up one's and put them in my check in baggage)
- flash light (there are power outages)
- wet wipes (so handy)
- tape (these small things are not easy to find and often needed
- alcohol wipes (great for so many things, even cuts)
- first aid kit (REI has very tiny packages of antibiotic cream and hydrocortisone lotion for bites)
- gifts for children and coordinators
- tylenol, ibprofen, nyquil or anything else you may need (theraflu can be purchased in Russia, however good to have decongestants with you)
- stomach meds (often good in case of traveler's diarrhea, bad food etc, never know)
- pack breakfast or protein bars (these came in handy)
- pack instant bag soups (also came in handy)
- slippers (lived in a some sock slippers)
- book and/or dvds for the laptop (comes in handy with little one's too)

For the second trip
- all of the above
- baby blanket
- thermometer (comes in handy)
- umbrella stroller (Vlad Inn provides 2 for the hotel, however they are busy and you need one for the airport)
- baby carrier (such a great idea for bonding and for hands free situations)
- saline nose drops
- diaper rash cream (desiten, etc)
- baby soap (no tears shampoo/head to toe etc) (there are nice travel size packs)
- small toys
- baby clothes
- disposable diapers (they sell them in Russia, however good to have a few on hand too)
- baby hat (in case sun is out or it is cold)
- pacifier
- lullaby music (on lap top, mp3 player, a must)
- formula (well this is optional as in country will tell you what you need before pick up and often take you to buy baby food etc, ask be well informed on what your child has been eating, dilute juices, often they have had black tea so maybe a very light tea can be made)

Sunday, March 6, 2011

The Journey Gets More Exciting...

We were supposed to have to wait 13 weeks for our FBI fingerprints and they came in 7 weeks early!!! Wow, time and process is moving. Must keep up. I finally put together some wardrobe pieces and here they are (the fun part, right?)