Our Official Acceptance of Your Referral

Well, today we just got back from the capital once again for another apostille. It was a long drive today as we realized just how BIG this is and just how PERFECT we need things to be to get to our little one successfully.
I have been on the phone continuously it seems the past couple of days from psychologists to accountants to agency and to medical doctors just to line up the paper work we will need.

Last night, we wrote an official letter of acceptance for our referral. We received a congratulations from our agency and then a "he won't be available for adoption for at least a month". I have to say, it scared me more than I have ever felt. It is so worrisome to know that although we have fallen in love with a little boy, tired ourselves out endlessly with paper work and trying to explain to professionals what we need, and thinking about the process over and over, nothing will be for sure until our court date, which could be two-three months away. A long time to be patient (or try to0) and a long time to work on trying to put our fear aside and look through the tunnel of optimism.

I guess for now, I will work on keeping busy, looking at the pictures, and getting what I need to done. Hope is all I can ask for right now.

I may be totally full of anxiety about flying on a 12 hour flight but I can't wait either....

"Today March 25th at 4pm, I saw your photo for the first time. We were filled with anticipation. Your Dad left work immediately, ran to the bus and came home to meet you. I ran around like a monkey until he got home.

Following a couple of clicks, a picture came up and the first thing I said was, “He has a nose just like you.” Your Dad just sat there in awe. Your beautiful steel blue eyes looked so serious and still as if you had just woken up. We opened another picture of you and it was of you in the middle of laughing. Then another and you stood, standing strong in a crib grasping the side railing. Your two bottom teeth were coming up just above your lips.

“Ahh, that is our blonde, blue eyed boy, I can’t believe it.” We sat there in shock for a bit looking at how beautiful you are. Your Dad shed a few silent tears. I know he is so totally happy.
You truly are amazing.

Hello! March 19th here.

Well, we are not holding our breath, however we were just told we will possibly move to Number 1 tomorrow on the referral list or (slim) chance receive a referral. Bottom line is she asked us how fast we would be able to move if we did get a referral. Hmm, well I am not going to get my hopes up and take a see it to believe it attitude, this way I can just go with the flow.

Of course though, the moment we know anything, either option, we are ready to go! Maybe I will just sit back and breathe a little bit. Wow.

For anyone who can relate...

I will share an experience recently as my husband and I totally broke down this week, both in tears. We almost gave up on Russia, not because we wanted to but because we have put out 25k already and it looks like with everything else, it could be another 30k and when we made this decision, it wasn't so difficult with the economy, now it is hell, let's face it.

So, we got all nervous and we could have transferred our monies to another country, Ukraine or what not but we would end up with a 3yr old etc.

Well, I made several calls that day, holding back tears and the last call that came back to me was this, "Breathe, just breathe. I know things are crazy right now but do you really want to change things as you are only 3rd on the list for boys and I am receiving referrals tomorrow, which could put you at 2nd or 1st in line. This means you have a little boy very soon coming to you."

Needless, to say I got off the phone, mouth dropped and felt like I was going to collapse in emotional exhaustion. My husband and I just looked at each other and I said, "I don't think we can give up now no matter how difficult it will be. He is almost with us and he is waiting for us."

Well, we are recovering and looking forward now and putting our minds in a different place. I guess the ups and downs are expected but WOW, they happen at unexpected times.

I give you ALL CREDIT as I think of all of you who have gone through this and are going through this as your strength, courage, is most admirable.

A Quick Update

I am writing as it has been a month since the last post. I have to admit, I am getting a little ancy, however I do realize this process takes time and if it were to reflect a "real" pregnancy, I would be heading into my 7th month of pregnancy, which means we still have another couple of months until a possible referral. Of course this is all in my head as I am thinking of it as our paper pregnancy.
We just finished another bit of paper work last week having to drive to Olympia once again and re-do one word in a document. I guess we will have to keep jumping through hoops. I am prepared for the hoops, however I am still a little nervous on the economic side of it. I keep thinking well, we are lucky to even be able to have this option and we can't wait to have our little boy, but knowing we have it all sitting on a credit card adding interest and we are only 1/3 of the way through financially, well, you can imagine, we keep pushing for a referral so we can see this as a real thing happening. As we remind ourselves of this, it helps in keeping our chins up. We never realized this country would be hit with such an economic burden effecting us all when we made this decision. We hope all of our friends and family are weathering through these times the best they can.
I was told a week ago, we are about four families down the line so we shall see. I have not been able to start the Life Book yet, which I know I really need to start. I did finish a personal decoupage for Logan's room. There is also a pic of the funny stroller we ended up with and the amount of clothes Logan has as I think he will be a stylin' boy.