A few tactics that can work when things don't go your way

It is 2am and I went to bed and began thinking of all of the different crazy things I have done as a parent that have actually worked when confronting behavior issues. We all face them and we either become stressed or upset or just don't know what to do or maybe you have found tactics that work for you.

Alexei was screaming in the car one time having a tantrum about leaving a toy store. This had been going for awhile and I could not stop the escalation in time to full blown crying.
- I screamed loudly with him for 2 seconds. Sounds weird? He stopped, looked at me and started laughing with puffy wet cheeks.

Alexei doesn't want me to change his diaper. This is on and off again as we go through potty training.
- Oh really, I say and he says, no. Okay, well then I guess I will be going. Let me know when you need your diaper changed. Hmm, maybe I will watch a tv show of my choice. Yay for Mama. He suddenly is on the diaper changer lol.

I've learned that walking away and agreeing with him often gets the opposite reaction, the one I wanted in the first place. Sigh.

Alexei doesn't want to leave the house to go out, he would rather test me at the door, smile, laugh and crawl up the stairs to have me chase him. Common for a lot of parents I hear.
- Tried walking out the door but he waved at me goodbye lol.
- Chocolate covered graham crackers worked once.
- I guess you are not going to play later worked another time.
Again, very long negotiations with Alexei so you have to nip it before it becomes a lawyers argument.
- Usually picking him up and taking him to the car is a good response.

Tantrums or any type of crying that is just a short form of I am unable to completely communicate with you Mama but this is what I want or I am not getting my way, therefore I will cry my way out.

-ACT SILLY!!!! Sounds weird huh? Well, Alexei was crying (making noise on this occasion as he turns it off quickly with no tears) he will smile too afterwards.
I decided to dance all crazy. He stopped, looked at me and had no idea what to do but he did listen and we were all happy again.

-One time I burst out in song, totally worked. That usually gets him. Either he says, "No Mama, you need to stop now." Or he looks at me smiling and on occasion and joins in.

We are quick to get stressed and over tired by having to combat the 2-4 yr old negotiation tactics and tantrums and what I have come to learn is that if you can be silly, do it as it may save you a lot of heartache and slowly turn things around with your child.

The other tactic that works for me is removing him from the situation, holding him in my arms and saying, "I need you to listen to me." And we have a conversation, he calms down and we go about our business.

Another one I like to use if he says no, I say ok, tickle time! And then he comes around pretty fast unless he wants to be tickled but eventually he will give in.

Alexei actually puts himself in time out so usually the use of time outs would be good and often I will ask him if he is frustrated or acting out, do you need a time out? And he will say yes or no and if it is yes, he will walk to his room and get a book or roll around in his bed. Then he will come out when he is done, usually a few minutes later.

If he pulls the dog's tail (his best friend) I was told to over exaggerate my response with the dog by saying, "Ohhh Bernie, poor Bernie, are you okay? That must have hurt." Alexei looks at me, will see my actions, say sorry to Bernie and give him a hug. This took a couple of times to get Alexei to see what he was doing.

Parenting is hard. Yeh, I have over 20 books or so my mother thought to send me on parenting lol but from what I've learned on the job and being a parent, you just have to try things out and know when you need a time out.

One last tactic, call your girlfriends! Your mother! Whoever! Sometimes it is just good to laugh with a girlfriend as they always seem to make you feel brand new. :)