Our Russian Adventure Begins Again

It Has Been A While But Here It Goes......

2012-01-16T16:49:00.000-08:00

I often write about Super Woman, mostly because I feel all of as women tend to juggle more than we can often handle but we do it with style and we make it through. We are stronger than we think even when life puts us to the test.

Super Woman fell this week, beaten down by too many of life's tests and challenges. Michael and I this February have been together for 12 years, 10 years married and we have been through so much but the last 3 months has proven to be incredibly difficult and complex. We have lost family friends, will lose another very close family friend and best friend in the coming months to cancer, lost our daughter in Russia, gained a son, went through a very personal loss, spent a long 6 weeks in Russia and many more issues all in the time period of returning from Russia in November, family visits, holidays and this past weekend was our first weekend to just breathe.

As we reflect and move forward in this year 2012, which we gratefully said goodbye to 2011, we think about where it will lead us and how we will become stronger.

Our new son from Russia is doing quite well. As most of you know he was a 6-9 month sizing for a 2 year old. He is now 12 month, going on 18 months and has gained 5 lbs in the last 3 months and grown 3.5 inches during this time period. It is amazing how well he has done. He loves his sleep due to all of his growth and is slowly being okay with a brother although he threw the first punch.

We are rolling towards the end of our transition period and becoming more used to having 2 boys. They are energetic, keep going every second of the day and are currently in competition to see who can get the most attention from us. In fact, my Alexei often likes to pretend he is Ewan. Aye, aye, aye.

When it comes to Russian Adoption, I highly recommend leaning a bit on other parents for advice and just to feel normal. I do not often ask for help, hold my cards tightly to my chest and feel that I, Super Woman can do it all on my own. Well, it didn't work out this past week and I finally broke down hard. I will get back on my feet and move forward but for those of you who are in the early stages, in the midst or transitioning, we are here for you!!! Reach out and don't try to be the ultra I got it all together type. It just doesn't always work out. You are not alone.

Just $1100 More Dollars to Raise for Orphans at Play This Year

2011-12-26T12:33:00.000-08:00

Just $1100 more dollars to raise in reaching our goal to fund two grandmothers for the year 2012. We look forward to giving the children 2 wonderful supportive grandmas who will help encourage positive development, give hugs, interactive play and stimulate growth. Every dollar counts so please think about giving a coffee drink worth of money or if you have a special person you would like to honor this month we are still sending Give a Grandma Cards to those you would like to donate money in their name with a special message.

On a personal note: I have two boys, one from a Russian baby hospital and the other from a baby home and I would have given so much to know they had that extra interaction and love each day. When I met my first son, he would stare blankly into the sky and out of the window. I could see such much more happening in that little mind of his however with such little stimulation, he just sat there. He did not even know how to grasp a play car they had put in front of him. The simple pleasures like feeling grass between their toes, many may not experience until they are much older. I walked him around the hotel that first day and we touched leaves together and I saw his eyes widen with each experience.

The grandmas will be put into these homes following curriculum that has been created specially by our development team giving these orphans a chance to flourish a bit more than they would in an average day.

Please take a moment and help us reach our goal. We have come a long way and are almost there! Thank you to those who have helped us raise $3900 dollars.

Orphans at Play

Transitioning Back Home with Lil Ewan

2011-12-06T00:08:00.000-08:00

I have not been on here as much as I would like to update on how the transition is going. I have found it interesting to see such differences in the children with regard to what we need to concentrate on versus what we had to with Alexei.

Ewan's Transition Time:

- Sleeps well

- Whiny to the extreme

- Babbles a lot but does not like to speak very much, although he totally can say about 5 words just fine. If you ask him to say Mama he just smiles. Now he says the word Hi all of the time in a sing songy version I must get on video for people to believe me when I say he sounds like a guy picking a girl up in a bar. Eeks. lol.

- He had giardia. Recommend a full check on all children when brought home. He was a bit bloated and seriously thirsty, which were symptoms. We are currently having him checked now for H-pylori.

- We think he may be head butting his head. I have only caught him once but he seems to like to bruise the same spot on the middle of his forehead a lot.

- We are taking him to a cardiologist due to a heart murmur to confirm he is fine and address his heavy breathing when he drinks too much.

- He will drink to the point of throwing it up or basically his stomach will just not allow more fluids. Well, we have controlled his intake and we thought 2 sippy cups wouldn't be too bad.

- His balance is improving, his leg strength and running. We have him pick himself up all of the time and it has really helped with his legs and confidence.

- He does like to go head first any time he can so watching him around stairs and making sure the gate is closed is huge.

- He hated the car seat at first but with music he will settle in and snacks of course.

- He hates, absolutely hates being bundled up. I hate to say it Russia as I am very kind on most things but these children do not stand for being bundled up when we get them home. I have one child, Alexei who will run naked any chance he can and now Ewan undresses himself at night and every time we get into the car, the shoes and socks must come off including the hat. This is on very cold days too. Aargh. They rebel BIG time like the teenage years.

- He uses the "potty" only when you say "Mochitsya" Yup, who knows where he got that word but "Pisit" has not worked yet.

- Walks up to the world and will let them hold him. Must curb this now.

Ewan likes to pick up stuff and put it in his mouth all of the time. He is so different from Alexei it is just amazing but then he also came from a hospital that was so rigid in it's structure and Alexei was just not used to so much rigidity.

Alexei's transition time:

- Didn't sleep, still doesn't. He is my midnight hour boy. If it wasn't for melatonin the Dr. prescribed, I am not sure if he ever would lol. He was done with naps the moment he came home. I have been to all of the specialists and they say he is a Disneyland syndrome boy, high functioning and doesn't want to miss a thing. He is fine. Well tell that to his Mama who is up with him at 1:45am to this day at times.

- Hyper. He is very energetic. He is focused though.

- Talkative. Speech was pretty much easy and he picked up very fast. He knows both languages with small words and some French. The kid just picks up languages and asks about everything. You know the kid in "Bad Santa" that asks why every other moment. Yup, that's him. Dear lord, give me strength ha ha.

- So we took him to NY to visit our Vlad family and ever since then he says, "Huh?" drawn out with an accent. Sigh, even if he has heard it 4x, he will say it and I say, what did I just say and he will repeat it so I know he heard it and his hearing is very good.

- My right hand. He has always been Mini Mama, my right hand, helps me with everything, even the dishes and right now he is finally asleep at midnight holding onto my arm on the couch.

- His strength in his legs was pretty amazing at 15 months old. Very strong child but then the babies I have seen from his baby home are pretty darn strong with bad sleeping habits lol.

- He tries every food first and then will tell me if he does not like it. In fact, he finished off a pomegranate with me tonight.

Due to his lack of sleeping and high energy, his transition left Mama crying at times but now I have the strength and patience to know how to work it just right and communicate with him on a level that works. I can't blame him as he came from a baby home to us and said, "Look world, I am ready now!" And has never stopped being ready.

Donate Your Coffee Drinks This Week to Orphans at Play: Give a Child a Hug This Holiday Season

2011-11-29T22:47:00.000-08:00

Give the Gift that Lasts all Year Long: the Gift of a Grandma and Help our Orphans in Russia. Just 2 Coffee Drinks this Week equals $10 dollars.

As I sit going over my list for the holidays by the twinkly lights of our tree, I cannot help but think of the children I saw reaching their arms into the sky for us as we walked past, some saying, "Mama". I watch my boys run around in the house all snuggly in their holiday pajamas and playing with their toys. To think they were one of those children hoping for the same thing each child in those orphanages so desperately want, a Mama, a Papa and a forever family. Something so simple. Something we often take for granted, a life with a balanced nutritional diet, apple juice anytime they come in asking me, toys galore and the most cherished item, a hug. The simple act of a hug can help with development and give a child a moment of hope and love.

Orphans at Play designed curriculum specifically to give children a chance at getting that simple hug, play time and increase their ability in attachment and physical development. We ask that you give your holiday list a second look and if there is someone you have been wanting to get a gift for this season, make it a gift of a hug from one of our special grandma's to be placed in an orphanage. Your donation, whether $10 or more goes specifically to the Give a Grandma program this season. The funds will be sent to Vladivostok directly in care of the Give a Grandma program, which will place grandma's into baby homes and orphanages for the year 2012. We are seeking to raise a total of 5000k. So far we have reached 2000k. We currently have two Grandma's waiting to be put into homes in Nakhodka and we hope to place more into the Vladivostok City area.

Your donation is tax deductible and you will receive a specially designed certificate for the recipient your donation will be in honor of with our upcoming launch of Give a Grandma this Holiday Season.

To hear the words, "I love you Mama" when my son hugs me is worth it all. Give a Hug this Holiday Season. Help us Give a Grandma. Just $10 dollars, much like 2 coffee drinks will get us a bit farther in reaching our goal. I challenge all of you, my family and friends to give just $10 this week. - HunterAnn

Donate to www.orphansatplay.org this week.

Donate

Photos of Newbie So Far

2011-11-15T12:08:00.000-08:00

Never underestimate a 3.5 year old

2011-11-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

I have been home for 1.5 weeks and we are transitioning into having two boys. Two boys with two huge personalities.

Only in the middle of the night do I sit and think about at times the last 6 weeks and as I adjust and start to move forward I realize that my son Alexei is going through an even harder time on a different level. Will I ever be the same me? Not at all. Am I still angry? Completely. When asked recently about the situation and how I was feeling, I said I am angry, angry at how this happened. I know there are 5 stages and maybe that's life, I just have to endure. My husband is on the next stage. I figure it is because he got home earlier and could deal with things sooner.

In the last 4 days, this is what I have had to either answer or sit down and talk about with my Alexei who is at his own grieving stage:

1) When are we going back to Russia to pick up my sister?

2) (the hardest one) Why did we lose my sister?

3) Tell me about the story of when we are going to Russia to pick up my sister. The one with the airplane and us playing.

4) I have a sister and a brother. My sister is in Russia.

Some people tell me how 3 year old's do not remember much. Let me tell you, from a child development background, they remember almost everything. I have sat here with my son the last couple of days and he has told me about how I should remember when we went on the horse ride at Disneyland and how we saw Goofy and met Mickey Mouse. He had just turned 2 and he recalls every detail. My husband said just the other day he was recalling the entire trip down to details.

I know from when I was 3 I remember just about everything too.

So, how old is too old to sit down and explain what happened? Well, I have said her mother came back for her but then the whole question comes up, is she with her mother? Well, then the question is do you lie to your child? I have never been one to feel comfortable doing so. I then work on avoidance of the issue, however as you have seen above, it will take time and it is still quite fresh in my little 3 year old's mind.

The Last 6 Weeks and My Strength

2011-11-07T01:16:00.000-08:00

Today, my parents went home. I now get to spend the first day tomorrow with my boys, just the 3 of us. As I take the first moment to reflect (I see many moments like these in the next few days) on everything we have gone through this past year and most importantly these past 6 weeks, I think of my grandmother who died suddenly 9 years.

How has she been such an impact on the strength I have had to get me through these past 6 weeks?

My grandmother Natalie or should we say "mom" since grandmother was not in her vocabulary was a woman that I am sure I have felt was a steep hill to even live up to with all she had accomplished in her time period. Her photos sit on my mantle, as my screen saver and downstairs in my hallway that serve as a reminder to where I have come from and where I am today.

She was a driven woman pushed strongly by her mother, Anna a nurse and her aunt Irene who she was raised by since watching her father Nicholas drown right off La Jolla Shores Beach when she was a young girl.

She played oboe in the school symphony and went off to university where she took her music further. Then she became a reporter for United Press International and was on her way to cover the fashion shows in Paris and around the world. The woman was unstoppable living in a man's world. She became the first CBS anchor woman in San Diego in addition to news radio, covering the hard news as well as hollywood women's press club and covering the Vietnam war in a helicopter with her news photographer above a war zone and marrying the love of her life who was also a news reporter in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

He, being my grandfather Bill died when my mother was 8 years old suddenly after being taken to a hospital. While the love of her life passed away, she received notice the same day that her mother had suddenly died 2 hours away while being with my mother who was also just a young girl.

Now a single parent of a daughter and a full time news lady, there was no time to slow down in the early 60's. She kept going, gone on assignments all of the time and when home having a social life that mixed with work and was gone at fancy engagements.

I remember being 17 and asked by my highschool teacher to interview my grandmother. Phmmp, try doing this when your grandmother does this for a living. I was so incredibly nervous and was afraid to ask her anything if it wasn't the "Right" way to do so. I looked up to her hugely. She was "mom" after all and you did what she said and you dressed the part, always dressed up to every dinner, holiday, engagement, you name it and what I remember most was when she said, "You do what you do for you, that's all that matters in life." She was a strong woman but had to be. I do not remember her tearing up once until her next husband passed away.

She went swimming and worked out daily, always in bed before midnight as she said otherwise you would not look your best. She taught me to walk with books on my head, put me in a summer program on how to eat properly, dress well and walk the runway at the old Broadway store. My clothes were made for me by Saks Fifth Ave for years by a lady with long rimmed black glasses and the funniest hair do but this was expected by my grandmother.

Life was certainly with high expectations so now that she has been gone for 9 years, I know that there is so much of me who feels that life is important and I cannot let everything that has happened to us just fall to the wayside nor can I let it drain me of life but rather I can transition into the next stage of my life stronger and more prepared.

I often think of everything she had gone through and the person she became. She was incredible and most of it sadly I learned as I sat for a week with family and called her very large book of contacts to say she had passed.

Most of all, I feel she has been there with me in Russia for all those weeks. She lived in a complex time period in America. Concerning her job, there were things better left unsaid. I remember though being raised on sour cream in every thing, soups, sauces being made in what they call a tyudka in Russia, borscht on our table, red cabbage, shredded carrots in everything (ick), mushrooms in everything, the importance of her daily vodka with a twist (never went a day without it), the strength she carried with her, the importance of taking me to restaurants with Russian culture and how proud of me she was when I agreed to take Russian language in highschool. I knew we had family in Britain and that was all that mattered. This is what we were. She was strong about this but not until we decided to adopt our son from Russia has so many things come back to me and talking with my mother have I found out so much and learned so much about myself and who I am.

Through my sons I have found a greater me. I always thought I would have a daughter. It was important to my grandmother and we have had the strong women in our life passed down through generations and now I have 2 boys. I walked out today to my livingroom looking at my husband and 2 boys. I thought wow, I am to raise 2 boys.

I will say this as I have said in the past, Do not be afraid to ask your parents questions and to get to know them, even to sit down and ask them everything you have ever wanted to know. I learned more about my grandmother once she died and yet she was in my life since the day I was born guiding me to the woman I am today.

Some people have asked or said to me, "How have you been these past 6 weeks? or I could never have done it, how did you? or You have so much strength."

I dedicate this strength to the women in my family who have pushed us to take that step in making it no matter what comes in our path.

My husband who taught me to cry and hug and I will say, my grandmother spent 10 hours at least with his parents one day making sure he was the man I should be with, which I did not know about until after and I still think that in some way, he was brought to me to make this all happen and to do this together.

He is often my calm, my strength that was also my grandmother "mom". She died a year after I married him and I often think as those two hummingbirds came to my window flying still in the air together looking my direction that morning, signifying my grandfather, Robert Hunter and my grandmother Natalie Ann that they were there to tell me, "It's your turn now but we are here with you every step of the way."

They have been and now I hope to pass down everything that was passed to me on the importance of living and being a person who can overcome many of life's most difficult hurdles.

To my grandmother as I drink her daily vice, Vodka with a twist, "za schast'ye", To happiness. Thank you for bringing me here.

Transitions Coming Soon... Monday That Is

2011-11-06T00:31:00.000-07:00

I am preparing myself as Monday will be our first transition day as a family of 4. My parents will have flown home and we will see what it is like to have our 2 boys, 2 big dogs, cats, fish and us all under one roof lol.

I have kept the mini man under his schedule, which helps. 2pm nap and 9pm bedtime.

Funny story: So we took mini man to the mall with his brother and my parents. Inside the play area, there were parents sitting watching their kids play, eating and drinking. My mother had to run after mini man quite a few times due to the fact he was trying to eat their food and even attempted to steal a warm pretzel from one Mama. (Looking like we starve him or something lol) Well, he got his first taste of the Wetzel Pretzel. Being gluten free myself, I watched him down 6 pretzel nuggets happily and one Starbucks apple juice on the rocks.

He is for sure fitting into the lifestyle here in Seattle.

Mini Man, despite almost 2 years of age in January prefers his food in liquid style. (Ick) As he would like us to basically puree everything from veggies to cereal. My mother has spoiled him with making oatmeal and milk in a liquidy state so he can drink it up. Again, ick but today we went and picked up his cereal from a Russian grocers, some enfamil and some Zoo animals crackers from Russia. He is lovin' life at the Booth's residence.

Hilariously, he will sit in my arms and I tell him to put his head down on my shoulder pushing gently and he does, then he pops his head up with this huge smile as a funny. Not so funny when he should be in bed but I can't help but turn my head and silently laugh to myself of how good he is at turning on the charm. Both of my boys are heading down the road of figuring out how to get what they need in the world with a few smiles, sparkly eyes and some stylin' fashion.

My mother bought the boys some new winter wear at Nordy's and Alexei promptly after trying on 4 pairs of shoes, walking around in them and deciding on one, brought his goods home to share with his Papa.

He now has a new winter coat, 3 long sleeves, socks, 1 pair of gray ugg boots, 1 pair of converse, new hat and a couple pairs of jeans.

Mini man has a few new hats, pants, socks, London onesies, jeans and some stylin' green kicks my mother picked out.

If anyone thought girls were more expensive, try two boys into fashion and their own looks.

For example: My Alexei has pleaded with me to get his hair cut this weekend. I mean pleaded. When walking in the mall hand in hand, we passed a salon and he said, "Mama, isn't that where we get our hair cuts?" And I said, "No, but they do hair there." "Can I get a hair cut please?" LOL, what happened to my boys??!!

Starbucks, Fashion, Style, Dancing Sing- a -holics and Film Critics. Well, guess they are 2 Euro American infusions of sorts.

Oh and should I mention that Ewan keeps getting mistaken for a girl?? Beyond the gushing and I mean, he must have a major big ego now after all of the women were all over him from one end of the mall to the other, some women thought of him as a very cute girl LOL.

Oh and when Alexei made his Christmas list, he said to me, "And I want the kitchen most because I will make you coffee Mama and lunch for Papa." The boy sure knows us well ;)

Back in Seattle

2011-11-02T21:21:00.000-07:00

Dasvidania Vladivostok..... You've Been Life Changing... Once Again

2011-11-01T04:59:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, 12:30pm we are picked up by Anya and a driver to be taken to the Vladivostok Airport. We will meet the courier there from Moscow, crossing our fingers all is good to go. Then off to Seoul, Korea to board a plane to Seattle, Washington to arrive there Wednesday at 12 noon and be home by 2pm with a stop at the nearest Starbucks.

I did some walking the past couple of days to clear my head and breathe a bit. What I found most was the emotion rising from leaving Vladivostok. I am only in a hurry because my family awaits me and let's face it, I have basically lived here since September and am ready for my bed and life at home. The emotions are starting to surface. I have warned Juliya who is here to help me get back home that once I am in Korea, I will feel more calm but for now as always leaving here creates such a deep energy of stirring emotions. I feel ancy, I feel like I want to cry, I feel tired, I feel ready and not ready.

I suppose maybe I know my heart will continue to stay here and be forever in Vladivostok. The people, the environment, the hotel, the friends and the memories. I know there will be a moment where I will just need to cry and I will have to face the music and then there will be the moment where I move forward and finish what I started.

Ashley, another mother has been hugely supportive here in Vladivostok. We both embarked on this journey through the same agency, same coordinator and once we are home, we will be with our two boys, hers who have such an incredible love for their Mama already and me, with my wild house of boys. Man, from humans to animals, I am the only woman! Outnumbered!!! LOL.

Laura, my ColdPlay partner lol. I will always be around and ready to converse from here to eternity. Have fun being a Mama.

Jamie, you are almost there. I expect to hear your court was a breeze and your little girl is with you. Thank you for the conversation and laughs. See you again!

Rachel, I only met you for a few hours, I wish you all the luck in the world as your journey takes you back home to New Zealand to wait to come back. Will be thinking of you.

Abbey and Daniel, so much to say, so much fun to be with you all and I will continue to watch as your family enjoys all of the happiness you all so deserve.

Randy and Danny, you may never see this but I will keep in touch with you all and hope your first two weeks being parents has been what you have wanted for the last 17 years. You all were smiles and showed so much happiness when you brought your little girl back to the hotel. I will surely keep in touch. It feels like eternity since I've seen you all.

Thank you to all of those who made this trip happen for us and who helped out here and back in the America's. We appreciate everything and you all are in our hearts. There is really no thank you that feels right, you all deserve so much more.

See you Michael and Alexei in 32 hours!

2011-10-30T05:52:00.000-07:00

A monsoon formed and as the floods washed away, a tiny green leaf reached out from below the wet soil.

I will become stronger in time and carve a path in life that will give these boys a deeper understanding of the world, who they are and where they are from while showing them every opportunity I can to live a life worth fighting for each and every day.

Michael and I have faced challenges since the day we met, hard one's and we have had to make sacrifices, difficult decisions and we have had to get up after every fall, every knock out, brush ourselves off and become the person we are continuously transitioning into.

We have had people cry for us during this trip, fear the unknown and please know that no matter where this path takes you, you are here because you were given a chance to climb a mountain and accomplish a task that would change your lives forever.

I still have to brush myself off but when I do, I will be a new woman, a woman my boys will be able to count on and one who will be there in the moment.

For those who are working through the process, don't be afraid to reach out, ask questions and know I am always here, reachable one way or another to lend an ear, give a moment of reassurance. A friend is always there. You are never alone. I have met, been given the chance to strengthen great friendships with those who I may never meet but through conversations, through the simplicity of "I'm here for you," I am here for you.

I'm Coming Home.... 2 Days. Bring It.

2011-10-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

I'm coming home, I'm coming home, tell the world I'm coming home. Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

P.Diddy

2 days I am coming home:

HOME
Alexei
Michael
Doggies
Cats
Family
Friends
BED
Shower

Starbucks
Thai food
Mexican food
Car

Fireplace, rain, blanket, hot tea and my boys.

What I will miss:

Obviously, I am in need of my own bed, my own environment after a long few weeks, an unusually long, emotionally and physically draining few weeks that has brought us a new son.

I will miss those who have been there for us here. I will miss the incredible friends and new Mama's I have met and formed our adoption bonds. I will miss the trees, the scent in the air of burning wood and the soul from where both of my boys have come to us.

I will miss the familiar faces who work hard every day making the Vlad Inn run smoothly. I will miss the room where parents gathered to share and find out more about life as an adoptive parent.

But I'm coming home..... where I need to be.

Russian Submarines, Statues, Memorials and Military Battleships

2011-10-30T00:08:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day to get out, smell the fresh salt water and climb through a Russian military submarine and I have to say it was a lot of fun to see such history.

We walked along the railway.
We visited the Aquarium. Saw a sad crocodile.
We walked and crawled through the Russian submarine.
We visited the memorial.
We took photos of the battleships while personal swept the floors.
We listened to church bells ring.
We stood by the Neptune statue and walked through the park.
We bought box juices for the kids at the grocery stand.

We've been hanging out with the Fischbach's, Ashley and Kyle, Dmi and Karston. It has been fun having them with us and bein

g able to feel comfortable getting around, walking to the beach, picking up rocks, skipping stones and driving through the city.

All of us are seriously anxious to get back home so trying to pass the time as fast as we can.

This Song Has Followed Me and Stuck with Me and Now More Than Ever

2011-10-29T04:55:00.000-07:00

I first heard this song in Kenosha while heading to close friends' wedding weekend. It has stuck with me ever since. From being Montreal Canadien's theme song (not sure why lol) to now when I feel like I need it more than ever.

Lights will guide me home and that is exactly what I am hoping for. I am in a downer point, have ups and downs from all of this and tonight I am mostly wanting to be teary but holding it together. I suppose it is due to feeling a bit lonely here without my family, my husband and realizing this is all coming to a close and I will be returning home in 3 days. It is a huge door to close while awaiting to walk through the next door open. I am hoping these lights will guide be home. I know things will not be perfect. I foresee laughter and I predict tears before this is all over and done with.

My husband and I have said with everything this year 2011 has brought to us, New Years could not mean more to us and we hope to just lay low for the next 8 weeks, sitting quietly at home with our new family, in the comforts of our home and reflect on just what we have accomplished this year through the many sacrifices it took to get where we are. There have been moments in our life where we feel we have been tested to our brink but I will say it is this experience, the experience that led us to our son who seems like the happiest kid I have seen in a long time. Smiles endlessly. I suppose he was the boy to "Fix us".

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth" - Cold Play's "Fix You"

A couple of photos for the blog

2011-10-29T04:43:00.001-07:00

More Funny Times At Vlad: The Pattern to Our Trip

2011-10-27T05:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, this has been one eventful trip!

1) At the DOE office, here we are 5 people in the 4 person elevator. Maybe it says 5 but needless to say it stopped between floors. I believe the lady when called thought it was funny. Then suddenly black out. Here we are in an elevator in complete darkness.

2) Locked out of laundry room at 11pm and my clothes are inside drying. Needless to say, took a few trips to the lobby to solve this one lol.

3) Well, upon returning from the embassy, we met Juliya here to help Ewan and I. Well, they only have one key for 136, period. Then they have 2 keys for 132. Well, somehow, we dead bolted 132 and then locked ourselves out with 136 being on the inside. We went to the lobby and let her know sheepishly "We locked ourselves out of the room, I AM SO SORRY." See I knew they were short on keys. They warned us. She said, "Get comfortable you may be here all night." I said, "Okay, should we delay room service?" She said, "Yes, I will delay the room service." So as we are sitting out there waiting and she is making calls, Ashley F came by with her cutie boy and said if you are here all night, we can make a slumber party in our room, just let us know. AWESOME kindness by the way. So then, eventually they find a master key and we are let in.

4) "Can you tell me what soup I am eating?" She says to me, "I don't know, pork and something".

Tomorrow We are Off to the Embassy and Passport Office

2011-10-26T03:45:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will lead us to the Embassy, the Passport Office and Children's Medicals. We are heading there with The Fischbachs and their two children as well as another couple I think.

Looking forward to getting through tomorrow as it means the last of the paperwork. I hope. Boy, I hate to jinx anything at this point lol.

Our sitter is also flying in tomorrow and since she is Ukrainian and speaks fluent Russian, I am hoping to have some good translations happening as we go to the souvenir shop on Friday.

So glad she will be here to help me fly home. It is such a relief to know I have back up at this point. I am pretty exhausted, more so physically.

Although lol, I was totally embarrassed when I went up to a mother today and re-introduced myself to her. She said, "I just met you the other day" OOPS! I went back an hour later and she was so sweet as I just had to apologize for my exhaustion. LOL. Her husband is flying back in to help her out any day. So great. She has a little girl that is basically her. I have never seen a child look so much like a mini version of a parent. I mean to the tee, otherwise I wouldn't think to bring it up. Amazing. Both have tight curls and all. Adorable little girl.

Halloween is here, being celebrated on Friday, the 28th. This is their Halloween I have been told. The windows, like every single one is covered with plastic pumpkins, ghosts or monsters. Each column is wrapped in plastic black spooky like wrapping. Although we will not be going to the party, I must try to sneak some photos in for you all to see.

They have put bat leaf bags outside as well as pumpkin one's. It is pretty chilly here at 5 degrees celsius, however of course the day we leave, it is super nice. I hear it is chilly back in Seattle. Autumn has arrived. So looking forward to it. I am still a little bit on the fence as to why everyone is so bundled up here and complaining about the cold. I keep telling my coordinator Anya hehe that it is much colder feeling back home. We were about to leave the car and she said to me, "You are putting on a jacket right?" I really wanted to say no but I put it on because otherwise talk about standing out greatly. It feels SO GOOD out there. The crisp cold air feels fresh and seasonal.

University of Washington International Adoption Medicine

2011-10-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

Hello Fellow Adoptive Mommies and Daddies!

I write this as I received a lengthy letter from our Adoption Doctors who not only have taken care of us through 4 referrals, but also for over 2 years now. They have been there for us as well as Alexei's pediatrician since we live in the Seattle area.

The letter was incredibly kind, personal and spoke about our losses as well as what is in store for us when we come home. There is nothing better than knowing they are there for us when we need them from several thousand miles away to 20 minutes away. They mentioned they often hear of a lot of stories as they are in the field of adoption obviously but never one in the 11th hour. I guess this has been quite the story for people back home.

I know when we lost our first referral during our first trip and had to get a response asap for our second referral, they responded within 9 hours so we had the information in the morning before we left to see our little girl.

Highly recommend Dr. Julia Bledsoe, Dr. Julian Davies and Cynthia who has helped us out with last minute requests and needs for paperwork.

More Vladivostok Photos for Anyone's Interest

2011-10-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

7.5 hours of Paperwork, a baby and back to the hotel for Grape Fanta

2011-10-25T03:37:00.000-07:00

I am not a huge a soda drinker. I usually only drink it when I am in desperate need of a coke or out of town on travel or desperate for herbal tea. Having said this, I cannot get enough of this Fanta Grape here in Russia. Maybe it is the lack of high fructose corn syrup we all live on back in America, but it is darn tasty.

7.5 hours of Paperwork and Ewan sat in his carrier against my chest for 7 hours of the day. What a patient boy! Holy moly. I am not used to this. I have Alexei, he never used it, wouldn't even consider it for a moment, well until Ewan sat in it. Imagine a 3 year old going around the hotel thinking it is a ride.

I have found that both boys take after personality traits of both Michael and myself.

Alexei: Well, since the moment I met him, it was like magic, truly, I just knew. I was not much of a child person until I met Alexei. It was in his eyes, I knew something just connected with us as if I understood him in some way. Since then, he has pretty much taken after me. Unable to take naps, hyper active or shall we say high energy and loves the late nights, would drink straight up espresso if I allowed him (he has stolen a few times shall we say) and enjoys pretty much all film and music I like. With Alexei even if he is wanting to throw a tantrum, go nuts or sit nicely on a 12 hour plane ride as we talked pretty much the entire time or read books, we just connect.
I think even the judge looked at me funny when she asked what we do when he throws a tantrum and I had to answer and I said, "Talk to him." Simply often talking to him or as I also mentioned, "Tell me when you are done." (He is too stubborn, he stops right away with a Phmmph hehe).

I worked with children for 8 years, specialized in behavior and well, Alexei is my true test on all heights and I find him such an incredibly high functioning, challenging, creative 3 year old.

Ewan: This 22 month old little boy I have spent a while with reminds me of my husband. In fact, although obviously we connect with both boys on some level, I saw my husband with this huge smile when he met him, unlike what I have seen for a long time. He was so over joyed and he also took care of him for the first week. Yup, that's right, everything pretty much. I suppose this time alone is good for me to get ready to be able to take care of Ewan since I will have both boys daily in our chaotic, fun house. Ewan is quiet at times, talks when he needs too, loves to be tickled, laughs a lot and loves his sleep.

Parents are telling me this time is great for me to bond with Ewan and I whole heartedly agree, however I am also someone who works better in the fast lane. I'm from Southern Cali, put on your flip flops and multi-task. God, I miss mexican food. Okay, deriving. Anyways, Ewan sleeps so far 12 hours a night and 2 hour naps, lol. Whew, that does give me time, time to go stir crazy!!! LOL, although I have not slept for ages, obviously neither does Alexei. I have just heard Alexei has gone for 30 hours now on 3 hours of sleep. Is that 30 or more? Yikes, well I just spoke to the boys at midnight, there time and they arrived at noon and since I am not home, Alexei is driving Michael crazy. He broke a glass, won't go to bed and here Michael hasn't slept at all and has to work in the morning. Alexei and I just have a bond and I feel like our magnetic hold is broken for the moment. I so wanted, needed to be with him when I took him from Russia for the second time.

There are so many deeper things going on beyond just what is on the surface. Bringing Alexei back here was so incredible and I wish it wasn't on such a turmoil basis but none the less it was a special time for him.

I am slowly bouncing back, my eyes a bit burny but I have met more parents, usually the first to tell me the 3 weeks is too long hehe, TELL ME ABOUT IT, no I mean really, I can totally relate and feel your hardship now as I turn into the 5 week range. I will vent with you and listen as I totally understand.

For example, my dog gets picked up in 2 days, over 5 weeks in the kennel! Ahhhh. For the record, yes dogs do get depressed and they do know it has been a long time so I am hoping he is all good and has not forgotten too much. My other dog usually will stop eating and get sad but he was more spoiled then ever this time around. Ahh, to hug them both.

I sit here watching Mickey's Christmas in the background. I am getting in the holiday spirit. I miss Halloween at home so on for the festivities of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Boys better get ready because Mama is coming home with a holiday energy and that means make way for the storage boxes coming out.

Get your rest while you can ;)

The day we get back we take Alexei to see Buzz and Woody on ICE. I think it is holiday related too. Hehe.

Announcing our NEW BOY: EWAN: Here are some PHOTOS finally!

2011-10-25T02:34:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone!
I am still in Russia for 8 more days but it is official that he is ours and I can post photos finally. Here is our 22 month old boy.

Our First Night Alone

2011-10-24T01:56:00.001-07:00

As I walk out of my room in my pajamas (I think Michael packed my favorite sweatshirt as this is gone, sniff, sniff) lol holding the boy close in his girlie pajamas, the entire police brigade is in lobby. I do not think I have ever seen so many police here at the Vlad Inn.

I sneak into get a new internet card and walk back down the hall hearing fellow Americans talk about various things. I swear these walls are very thin.

I think about my husband who said he had a hard time the first flight and Alexei helped him out a bit. I think about Alexei grabbing onto me before they left and holding onto me so tight saying he didn't want to go. I told him, "I love you, take care of Papa and I will follow you home in a few days". Nine to be exact. It seems like eternity. Do not get me wrong. I am NO debbie downer but I have to say after the last month we have been here, obviously it has been a bumpy ride, thanks to our coordinator to help us through, I am not sure what we would have been able to do or where this would have left us without it. However, having said this and having some personal issues before we left, then the roller coaster kept going, we have started this together and desperately wanted to end it together.

Michael texted me and said it was difficult as it was not the same type of adoption trip home. He said it was very sad. And here I feel very empty. When we set out to do this together, we hoped to bring home our entire family. Life changes, things change and I confess, maybe I would be stronger if my husband hadn't been really sick the last 2 days here and if I have had sleep in the last 5 days. I am way too exhausted to deal with the continuing changes.

We have another long day tomorrow, which I hope isn't too long as it feels daunting in the state I am right now physically and mentally. Then another long day on Thursday at the embassy.

Thankfully, Ewan has just been hanging out entertaining himself bit by bit and running around in his pink polka dot pajamas. Remember, we were here for a girl lol, poor guy has some interesting pictures to remember later in life haha.

I know people say these days will go fast and this will all be in the past and it will obviously. For now, I just pray like a mad woman, I can sleep one night, for now I would be happy for one night. Nothing has worked so far, hot baths, meditation, tv, music, sound machine, nyquil, etc. So, I am going to hope that the nausea and physical exhaustion just let my body give in.

I await the moment I can skype my boys and say hello in 14 hours or so.

My Fellow Adoptive Mama is Leaving Town for Florida....

2011-10-22T01:45:00.000-07:00

I have another Mama girlie leaving me for Florida haha.

I met Jennifer over 2 years ago and have not gone a day without talking to her in one form or another. Mostly online, however in the short amount of time we have been friends, we have been through a lot of stuff!!!! A lot of loss, trouble and happiness with our beautiful Russian born boys.

Although, I know we will keep in touch daily as we always will, gossip about housewives, vent about life, enjoy the funny moments online, it is still a hole left in Marysville without her.

I never thought I wouldn't get to say goodbye as we were going to be back to Seattle before she left but due to our circumstances and bringing home another Russian beautiful boy, we are missing out on seeing them and saying goodbye.

So, I sit and write on this blog knowing she will most likely read it and saying, I love you and I hope you have a wonderful, safe trip and meet all of the other Florida Adoptive Mama's there because there are LOTS. Florida is saturated with Mama's like us and beautiful Russian children. I will always be here for you. Hugs my friend. XO

2 more Days for the Alexei and Michael and....Advice

2011-10-22T01:38:00.000-07:00

Alexei and Michael leave in 2 days to the States and of course we had to make this trip even more interesting, as if it wasn't enough lol.

Michael ended up eating a piece of chicken from room service and he said it didn't taste right and of course one hour later, severe food poisoning, up all night, still pretty weak but I am working on getting some fluids in him.

My advice from this for future travelers:
Before we left I asked my doctor for 2 prescriptions just in case, one was for nausea and the other stomach issues. We tried them at first and they did not work as his body was seriously unhappy with the bad chicken. We tried them today and so far they are working. I advise anyone to get the strong prescription stuff just in case. Michael usually has a stomach of steel when it comes to getting sick and it is very rare for him and this was just not good.

I have tried my Russian for getting herbal tea and ended up with green tea both times. I finally had Michael ask, poor guy and they do not carry herbal tea. This is another thought if you are traveling to bring some bags of herbal tea, mint or otherwise just in case.

I am anxious now to get these two boys home as it has been a little over a month now and they are exhausted and Alexei has been putting us through the ringer. My mother talked to him about seeing him at home and he told her "You will see me here." She said no, your home with Bernie and Alexei did not understand what she meant. I have even had him watch video of his house and he is either home sick or does not get he is going back home to his doggie on a plane. Hopefully, he will be good for Michael and get on the plane and be mellow LOL. Seriously, a miracle but I have faith that he will come through.

I am here for the next few days, 11 so far left and I have some business to take care of this week and then Juliya will be here to give me a break Thursday and help with the multiple plane rides home as we will be traveling end to end about 30 hours over night.

Another piece of advice as I have learned being here many parents did not know flying on Korean you can ask for a bassinet if your little one is small enough. I have requested this at the bulk head in hopes that little one will sleep some of the trip.

When I return back on November 2nd, I know I will need some rest and to get back into the routine with 2 boys, 2 dogs, cats and my lovely bed with my lovely comforter, cushy feather bed and you name it, I am looking forward to it.

I love looking out our window here at the Russian scenery and being here in Russia but this has been a super tiring trip of an emotional rollercoaster and I want to get off and relax with a cup of tea, watch the rain and cuddle with my boys, all of them. Plus, the holidays are coming up and since I am missing Halloween back home, I am super concentrating on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let the holidays begin!!!

Mama Needs a Brand New Necklace

2011-10-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year when the leaves are falling, the nights are colder and Mama needs a new necklace. The fabulous part about have children is being able to wear them around our necks in a beautifully done tile, customized with a photo of your choice. Well, my new little one in Vladivostok decided with the help of his older brother to chew and pull my photo necklace I wore just about every other day apart.

Therefore, hooray for Orphans at Play's Bashful Bliss customized necklaces. They are here just in time for me to replace mine and purchase new one's for my family during the holidays. What better way to show your love this year by helping support orphans in Russia and giving the gift of a personalized necklace. We will be debuting these with our holiday collection of necklaces in our up and coming brochure. Stay tuned as these are a hit. Every where I have gone, compliments followed.

So, Mama's dreaming of a new necklace, hope you will be too!

Downtown Court Photos

2011-10-20T03:54:00.000-07:00

White Rabbit/Vlad Inn Fix Anyone?

2011-10-18T21:05:00.000-07:00

"You're with us for a life time little guy, enjoy the ride"...

2011-10-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

I share this as I think some can relate even if it is of the personal nature.

Tonight at midnight, my husband I spoke about being the parents we hope to be. As I have said before, we have not had that much time to talk and I've noticed that I feel a bit more outwardly and he has been holding things inside.

The dust has settled a bit and it has been time to reflect over the last couple of days of the the year we have had. This year has been full of loss, whether it be cherished pets we have had in our lives for a long time or the loss of children or the hardship of knowing loved one's have to endure serious health complications or loss of livelihood. Basically, it has been a year of constant challenges and struggles and we hope we can go home and settle in for the last two months to just be. As we thought about how we would like to end the year, we began to talk about how we want to be as parents.

Being a parent is difficult, often complicated and yet the most rewarding experience of a life time. It is just that, one for life. Today, I looked at Ewan and said, "well you're with us for a life time little guy, enjoy the ride".

Growing up, my grandmother was very stoic, simply said, "Do what you need to do for yourself." This was in highschool. That was it. Simple and to the point.

Michael and I have so many goals and we hope to be able to meet them and we will work as hard as we can to do so:

1) Work hard for our family but most of all, be present, physically and emotionally.

2) Know when our children need us even when it seems as if they are fine. I hope I can be someone our children will want to call, will want to come over for coffee and just sit. Later in life I may not be their first choice but I want us to be a choice. Our job is to be there, any time, anywhere, no matter what is happening in our lives at age 2, age 18, age 37, god willing and then some.

3) Parents who listen, not just with our ears but with our hearts and hear the unsaid. (similar to above but needed to be separated).

4) Nurture, love and be open minded. To show our children the world and let them choose their paths to their own happiness. We will be there to guide them every step of the way.

We love our children more than anything and we need them to know, no matter what, we are there to laugh with them, to protect them, to cry with them, to be proud of them, to give them the world and to be parents that in 20 years they say they are pretty damn cool parents.

None of us can be perfect but we can go out of our way to be there.

The day we found out we lost our little girl, just after 2 personal losses we had suffered just days before leaving Russia, my mother got on skype, she was so angry and so full of emotion. Her protective side came out and believe me, it is not one you want to stand in the way of. She has gone after a burgler in her nightgown lol.

She is often busy and does not have the time she would've liked in life to be there for us. I know as she would say when she had a couple of days off, I like being home, able to cook and keep up with things. Before I go off track, the most important thing she did for us was ask questions:

How are you both doing? How is Michael? How are you? How are you really? I know you are not fine. How can this happen?

The next day, How are you? What's going on? How is Michael? Are you feeling okay? Take your vitamins. You need all of the help you can get. What are you feeling?

The next day, How are you both? I know you're not okay. Thus, I finally wasn't okay and began crying. I knew she was probably one of the few who would just sit there, hear me and tell her I am not okay.

I reached out finally. This situation and things that happened just before we left could not possibly have given us the super hero steel we so wished we could have as things began to crumble even more than we thought could.

Our families are often quite strong, stoic and do not talk things out. I will say, in our deepest moments, my mother became the parent I needed most at a time when I felt completely alone.

As Michael and I spoke about all of the different qualities we need to have, to push for, we spoke of the one that seems often to be the one that is most needed. We want to be the parents that just listen. The parents that on some level may be able to relate to our children and say, "We're here."

I suppose it takes these moments to know just how human we are when we are forced to take off the cape and symbol of strength. After all, life was never meant to be an easy road so Alexei and Ewan, enjoy the ride and know we will always be there when life is paved and when the road has no longer become a clear path.

2 Full Weeks To Go

2011-10-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

Today we said goodbye to the family we arrived with just a little over 3 weeks ago. It was nice reading their blog posts and talking about the things they cannot wait to get back home too.

I am a bit tired today. I guess letting down a lot. Alexei keeps waking up early and Michael hasn't stopped stressing about work since we arrived here, which makes things difficult. It was supposed to be our vacation, well it seems like the last time we had a family vacation was over a year ago so I was really hoping for some good family time. Each time I turn around, either Michael is so tired he is laying on a bed or having to make a meeting or stressing about what is happening at work and everything he has to do once he gets back.

No doubt, that although we have our family of four soon, this trip not only sent us into an emotional frenzy but has tired us out and put a lot of things in our lives at a stress point back home. We will work through it like we did this time. I am hoping that our next vacation in March 2012 will be less stressful and a little bit more family time. It is funny how even in a small hotel, we can keep so busy we are not all together. And two boys also who are keeping us busy means either we are separating to take one to play and the other to nap.

I keep thinking maybe when we get home we will have a chance to talk LOL.

There is a bit of sadness as I know Michael and Alexei leave in 5 days. It seems like forever ago when my sister was here and then it will be me and Ewan for 4 days and if we are lucky enough, Juliya will come in to help us fly home. I think by then I will so need a little respite before arriving home to our 2 dogs, cats and 2 wild boys.

I will be thankful though to get back into our routine and work things out having 2 children. I am not ready to let go of the girls clothes though yet and all of the items we have. I need to pack those up. There was a question today about girls clothes and I didn't realize how emotional it was going to make me feel inside. I am glad we have our family now but both Michael and I have a lot to get through from what has occurred in the past month emotionally and physically. It will take time I guess. Just when I think I am on an upper and going, I suddenly get jolted back to what happened. I think healing may be able to start once I am home and able to deal with reality.

It is no doubt that although I can travel the world and love to be all over, this is a very long trip and after the couple left we came with, I am realizing how lonely it is feeling having to be away from my own family and life back home. I do miss my dogs and I am starting to really miss my bed and my daily comforting Starbucks.

Oh well, just gotta keep going strong and hope I can continue this strength until I get home when I may want to collapse.

Funny Times in Vladivostok

2011-10-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

Despite the emotional roller coaster, we have had some funny times and regretfully we are still trying to remember all of them as it has been trying obviously.

1) Alexei's dancing to "I'm Sexy and I Know It....I Work Out" by LMFAO. Hilarious and he thinks he knows all of the words.

2) Nervous driving to court, we are driving with Dimitriy and he has his music playing, which is always good and will pump us up for anything and Alexei starts singing with one of the songs, "I want to make you sweat..." And Michael and I are like, "oh man, c'mon, really?" as Alexei turns to us and asks, "I love this song, I want to make you sweat, who sings it?" Talk about breaking the ice.

3) First day in Vladivostok coming from airport, we have to stop so Anya can go and talk to a man. She leaves us in the car in Artyem and I am reading a book to Alexei. A man pulls up next to us and walks up to the car and knocks on the window and we are nervous, just being in town thinking, who is this? what does he want? let's ignore him. So Michael waves him away. This man lurks around Anya's car for like 40 minutes. Who was he? LOL, poor Anya's Papa who she called to look after us and here we are thinking he is some crazy guy. So sorry Anya's Papa. LOL.

4) I ordered room service and asked for a double Americano. I received 2 separate shots of espresso and water. I order the next time, 2 shots of espresso in an Americano and I receive 2 Americanos. LOL. I need to figure out how to order this because if I ask for an Americano, I get plain coffee.

5) My sister Lauren, poor thing attracted Security every time she went to the park and swings. No matter what security would come out, either do pull ups in front of her, laugh or closely watch her. We have know idea why. But the other day as Lauren has been gone for 1.5 weeks, the same security guard, walked past me, smiled, then looked back and smiled even wider. Lauren, I have no idea why this man was so interested in everything you did. You must have done something to peak his interest, lol.

6) The same group of older residents play tennis here. Same one's even from 2 years ago. We recognize most of them. This is not a funny one but I will just say when I am 60 something, I can only hope to have the 6 pack this lady has when she has half tank on flying the tennis ball back at the men on the other side who are not as fit as she is. I give them all credit though to be able to play out their when it is 40 degrees.

As much as I try hard, I can't think of the rest and honestly, I am missing the actual funny one's.

Our First Weekend with Ewan

2011-10-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

Our first weekend with Ewan has been swell. He and his brother Alexei have been quite the busy pair. Alexei can become overly paranoid though and go into panic when he feels his brother needs our attention and we must pick up Ewan immediately.

Ewan found Alexei's Mickey Mouse Club quite entertaining. I must admit Michael has been taking care of everything Ewan. I think he is just totally attached and adores him like crazy. I have been with Alexei trying to soak up as much time with him as possible before they are to go back home for Halloween. I am going to need lots of photos. I so miss the pumpkin patch time with Alexei and the wheel barreling and trick or treating downtown Edmonds.

So far, I have been thinking of every food I can possibly think of back home. A couple here mentioned Starbucks, Outback and Bonefish and yet they are going back home tomorrow. Aargh lol. I was like thai food downtown Edmonds, Fish n Chips on the water watching the ferries, chinese food at PF Changs, gluten free cupcakes at Pink Bella at Alderwood Mall, Iced pumpkin Spice Latte, which will probably be Iced Soymilk Eggnog Latte by the time I return.

I hope this year though to take the boys to the Christmas celebrations downtown Bellevue, decorate for Christmas and get the house ready for the holidays and family coming in. I think I will just paint the pink out of the girls room and exchange it with another color to make a play room for the boys. They need as much storage as possible with their clothes and toys.

The boys, well I am not sure who is influencing who. I will say they are double trouble to the MAX and yet are only 3 days in. God help me Kristine if you are reading this, I will be turning to your pages daily HAHAHA. Boys are so much fun and I must say I am probably a good woman to have 2 boys but will they be hell on wheels 1 year apart in ages?! Sure Will!!!

Ewan does everything Alexei does and sadly Alexei does everything that Ewan does, which is not always the best case scenario Mr. Alexei Booth who should be the older influence.

This morning Alexei and I were dancing to MTV in the hotel room. Okay, so sometimes the songs are not as age appropriate as we would like but at this point I have learned it just can't be helped as exposure is everywhere. BUT, LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I Know It" came on and as we all know Alexei loves this band. Next thing I know, he is running down the hall saying,

"I'm sexy and I know it....I work out." LOL. If you know this song, then you know how hilarious this could be, yes, even from a 3 year old.

We took a very nice walk outside after a bit of snow, no sticking though but my boys are snow boys for sure. It is beautiful and crisp outside.

We Welcome Ewan Mikhailovich to the Booth Clan

2011-10-14T02:59:00.001-07:00

After a very long day in court, in traffic and I mean like Los Angeles traffic, the type that makes you want to cry lol, we give a huge welcome to our new little man who will be joining our Clan:

Ewan Mikhailovich Booth

Photos will be coming as of October 25th.

There are many people to thank in the States, Canada and in Russia, however I am going to speak of those in Russia tonight since we just finalized court and we got through just as they said we would.

Thank you to Anya and Irina. Thank you both and all of the hands that went into making this possible in Russia. You all are like family from the first time and have given us not one but two beautiful boys that we cannot be more thankful for.

Irina, during court took my Alexei out shopping, trying on hats you name it and he loved it.

Anya, I feel like that traffic was going to take eternity. I know you spend your days running around Vladivostok like it is nothing but we are eternally grateful to you and everything you have done for us. We just adore you and so does Alexei ;)

I am so utterly exhausted from not sleeping the past two days that I must make this short, I will update more this weekend.

Court Day

2011-10-13T04:04:00.000-07:00

It is funny but the first time we had court, I was not nervous, this time around I have been sitting, just wanting to get this over with and done with right now. Why do I have to sleep in between now and court? lol.

I suppose it has been everything that has led us to this day. Today I spent having to re-do our court photo album. I had to tear all of our little girl's photos out and paste on new photos I had the hotel print up over our little boy. There is no doubt this road has been quite the journey. We are really tired emotionally I think and now that we are to the court day, it is like aahhhhh, let's get this done with.

Sadly, I hoped to connect with both of our families prior to court, however that did not happen due to the time zone.

I guess it will not be for a couple of days since we will not get back early tomorrow.

Celebratory dinner: Well hoping hehe. Do not want to jinx anything.

I have been bribing Alexei like crazy to be good outside of the court room. He is pleading with me to be with us and the judge and has flipped out about not being in the same room. Transitioning galore. We will see what happens. Sorry Irena ahead of time. :)

After court, I still have another almost 3 weeks left and then back home to settle in and I do look forward to seeing my doggies and my son and husband again. Being away from Alexei for 2 weeks is making my stomach turn. At least I will have some bonding time with my son. Juliya, our babysitter will come and rescue me the last week and help me get home on the total traveling time of 18 hours, which is completely over night for us and we will arrive in Seattle at noonish on November 2nd. I think I will have been up for over 24 hours, god help me. THANK GOODNESS for help as we will not have a layover in Seoul. Looking forward to being able to simply go to the bathroom on the plane lol. Sounds crazy but could never figure out what to do with Alexei, put him in the sink?!

Hopefully by tomorrow, I will have good news to announce.

Sleep, sleep, sleep, ugh. Sleep.

Court Tomorrow!

2011-10-12T22:06:00.001-07:00

The Good News

2011-10-09T20:27:00.001-07:00

Michael returned from the baby hospital and said today Ewan ran down the hall and said Papa and pointed to Michael's chest. This is huge!!

He proceeded to say Papa a couple more times pushing his finger into Michael's chest. We are very thankful for this and so love the attachment. Crossing our fingers everything will go smoothly.

Mulling over Adoption and Loss- A Personal Story from my Son

2011-10-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

I was saving this story for when we came back home with our little girl: Alexei and I were sitting on a chair looking at baby home #3's children. I was scrolling down the photos. Our first girl referral was on the wall. Alexei didn't think that was his sister. As we went through the photos, Alexei stopped me and yelled, "That's my sister!" and I said "Who? Her?" pointing at the referral we didn't know we were about to receive once we arrive in Russia after losing our first girl. I said to Alexei, "No, that is not your sister", pointing to the wall at our first girl. He was very serious and said, "No, that is my sister!" Pointing to a photo online at a girl.

When we arrived in Russia after a very difficult week trying to get there, we found out we lost our first girl. We were sent a new girl and guess who that girl was? The girl Alexei pointed out as his sister. My mouth dropped and I just sat there staring at this girl with tears in my eyes. I said to Michael who knew the story, "That's the same girl Alexei chose out of all of those photos!" He said to me, "I know, it was meant to be".

Those who heard this story often said to me, "See, it was meant to be. It's fate." I was waiting to tell this story because I knew it would give her away possible for those who know how to get there.

The truth is, it wasn't meant to be. Although my son chose our next referral before we knew, she wasn't meant to be his sister. Now, having said this, he is still head strong on this girl. In fact, he hugged her when he met her without our prompting. I look at the video of them together and it seemed so natural. She just loved him for some reason and he loved her. I go into tears as I write this as my son is still so attached for some reason to this girl who has been taken away from us and yet he thought he knew all along and still does that this is his sister.

When I was passing through videos the other day, he caught a glimpse of the video with he and this girl and he yelled out, "I want her! This one!"

People say fate brought you to this new little boy and I say, fate has a sick way of bringing us to things. I am not happy with fate right now. Maybe a year to come but this little girl will never leave our hearts and obviously my son's heart who chose her long before we knew her.

Part 2:

We do not have a huge amount of downtime just yet and we will be adjusting to transitions in no time.

I have been thinking of our little girls room as I know it is something I must face when I return home so that I can have it ready for our little boy, Ewan.

9 pairs of shoes, raincoats, sweater dresses, like 10 pairs of girlie pants and jeans, ruffled skirts, several onesies, beautiful dresses (quite a few), hair bands, clips, lots of pink stuffed animals, pink Paris bedding, pink and black walls with pale green, princess books lining the shelves, princess and Alice framed Disney lithographs on the walls, our first pink converse for her, tights, girlie socks, knitted girlie flower hats and do I go on?

All I can say is wow, that girl was set and we hadn't even had the baby shower in California yet.

Thank goodness for hand me downs, although lol that will be another few months before he will be in those. Super hero shirts here we come. He may be stuck with pink stuffed animals though. The rest will have to be boxed and stored some where. I hope to one day have the boys share a room and maybe turn the current room into a play room.

Tough to figure it all out. I guess the hurdle is, get through it, do it and move forward, which is our goal. My parents will be flying in to help with the changes and we will figure out what we can do. I may just take the pink out of the walls.

I often walk around with a lump in my throat and imagine this is normal and expected. Michael has on display her teddy bear in our room from Korea. It is a beautiful teddy bear we got her before our first trip. It is hard to see but this is how he copes.

I guess I wish at times she was not so attached. She wasn't so huggy. She would've just been eh, okay you guys are here again to see me. Alas she was all of the opposite. A bright, cheery girl who smiled all of the time, in every photo and on every video. She hugged us all of the time. Even when they told Michael, she is not used to men, she may be scared, she just jumped into his arms like it was nothing. She was just soooo incredible. I know fate has it's ways but put me in a boxing ring with fate for a bit because honestly the road is often just too bumpy and I know many of you mothers out there, no matter what you have experienced with loss, know what I am saying.

Adoptive parents and often birth parents have so much to go through. Miscarriages, stillborns, loss that is so great that it is unimaginable to have to go through it often multiple times. We didn't get here easily, we got here because we went through so much loss, we chose adoption.

Today my son asked me, "Where is Papa?" And I said, "Papa is visiting your brother." And Alexei asked, "When will he visit my sister?" Here we are a week or so later and my son is still fighting the loss. At 3 he knows so much and yet at 2 he remembers and knows so much even where he came from, his baby home and Russia. We often think oh, they will not remember such things but it is what happens now that often shows how we deal with things down the road.

I know Alexei will eventually love his little brother but for now he will fight us I think until I bring Ewan home and he sees him at his house and the advantages of having a brother.

All of these things in adoption are so great, extremely trying and you just keep chugging along. I cannot be more grateful to have Alexei and know how many families out there have been created by adoption. The happiness in the long run brings all of these trials worth it. Our little girls will be in our hearts forever. The first one we connected with for 5 weeks through a simple photo and the second girl who we deeply attached too.

The Vlad Family Network & Special People: Thank You

2011-10-08T02:41:00.001-07:00

Friends are at times the most surprising and most incredible people. I have to give a shout out to my Orphans at Play Biz Partners, Sabrina and Heather. Thank you girls SO much for helping out and trying to get a box here to me for our new little one with clothes and odds and ends.

Sometimes words just do not express the emotions one feels when something so deep happens to a fellow girlfriend and family and yet it is those people who step up and say, "I am there". I have ..... well honestly I am at a loss for words.

Ashley, thank you for waiting for the box and offering anything you can to bring us. So much appreciated.

And a big shout out to all of my fellow adoptive parents who have been there talking to me and keeping my chin up when I felt like things were just falling apart.

Dianna, my love you make me smile. Jennifer, my online girlie, you keep me talking, Sabrina, you keep me honest about what is going on inside, Heather O for being there and lending your support, Stella, you make me laugh and keep my hopes up, Vanessa, you protect my family at home and make me feel okay, Patricia Mc, I know you are always there feeling me, Patricia L, I love the way you push answers get me fiery ;), Kristine, Well you've been there since the beginning of our journey along with the core Marie, Tanya and Patricia who have kept me strong, Amy, you are a bright light of hope and strength, Amy R, always there with a smile and giving kind words, Heather E for your wisdom, Shari, Kelley and Jody for your kindness, April for your feisty keeping me on my toes girlie, Joel and Clarion for sharing your journey and wisdom, Sandy, for your persistent hang in there, Sherry for being so kind with your words and giving us hope, Tracy, it was a pleasure and your warmth was well appreciated, Trisha, your stories and well wishes, Laura, in being along similar roads and sharing our experiences, Christi and Tom, my second family and partners in the journey, Shonna, my rock, Cristine, always there with words of wisdome, Steve and Pamela, partners in adoption, Kristeen, always there to make me laugh, Kristine, although we came back to Russia, I have enjoyed our conversations and simply the world of adoption, gosh and so many more, if I left out anyone, I didn't mean to as you all mean the world to me.

Vladivostok Second Family: The extension in our adoption, the one's who make it happen in country are so often the one's running around working their hardest to do what we need done in order to build our family and bring a child home. Anya, Irena and Stass. It is simple: You are forever a connection to our children and to our lives. You all make this possible and get us through even the hardest of times.

PFA: For launching us into this journey and CSHW for the constant patience through all of the changes.

Family at Home: The parents are a huge one. They are the one we call late at night or early in the morning when we do not know who else to call. They are the one's who must listen. Brothers and Sisters, you all know who you are. A leaning shoulder when times are tough.

The Wonderful People We Meet In Vladivostok

2011-10-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

I cannot ever say enough that we meet the most interesting people while going through our adoption at the Vlad Inn. That's a big part of staying at this hotel is being able to experience the process together to some degree. Nothing will be like our first adoption as that was basically making family members who will forever be in our life since we had to do it all together from traveling to court to waiting to bring our children into our lives to learning how to transition into being a family and bringing them home. The Wallace Family is forever in our hearts and a part of our forever family.

The people we meet along the way also provide such a comfort during the days where there is a lull or we are just too exhausted to make it back to our room and figure out what to do next.

One couple T and J left us with Animal Cookies and Goldfish. Thank you! It is the support whether small or great, even the simplest of words that get us by in times of need.

Adoption as most know is a HUGE amount of work with a big reward in the end but it is really an emotional journey where exhaustive days are just the beginning to a long road of parenting. The parenting part is awesome even on its trying days but let's face it, specifically for us, a long journey of much needed caffeine and lack of sleep since we have one child with sleep disorders we hope he will grow out of one day.

No matter what the journey, for those who are taken to the Vlad Inn, there will always be a memory of those you meet along the way and those who you make long life connections with, funny enough even if just through a 5 minute conversation.

I will soon be alone and when I am I will be grateful for any type of help, words or support at the ol' Vlad Inn.

Autumn in Vladivostok

2011-10-06T01:12:00.000-07:00

The Autumn colors are incredible as we walk around the hotel while leaves fall upon us. Reddish, goldish and brown leaves hang over the walkways. Quite a sight. I have only been in Vladivostok during Spring 2x and Summer.

It is not as cold though as it is at home so far. I know I see people walking around dressed very warmly but as I walked around today I found it warm and had my flip flops on. I think people thought I was crazy. Having said this, the cooler temperatures can change over night.

Alexei enjoyed cheese like puffs shared by our coordinator's daughter who he is oddly shy around for being a girl. Lately he takes off after the girls. We had a quiet tea and lunch today after following my sister's departure. Michael and I tried to work a bit while Alexei played with a funny Russian boy who thought Alexei was very quite humorous. Then he said "paka paka" and left with his mother.

The airforce planes have been going over all day long since early this morning. They are a sight to see as they fly over head. It is now sunset and I am watching Handy Manny with Alexei, my choice of course since I would probably have to watch Spider Man or Sponge Bob, which has been going non stop recently. Sponge Bob in Russian though is pretty darn cool.

I sit here enjoying a cup of tea and think about how I might be here for another 28 days. It is a long time to be away from home and I will be missing my Halloween celebrations. I hope Alexei has some serious fun during Halloween. Cannot wait to see pictures. Michael is going to take him to his work party as well.

As I watched the two boys play today I realized how great it will be for Alexei to not only have a sibling but a brother.

Last night was super difficult, lots of tears and frustrations over our loss of what was to be our little girl. I suppose there will be some sadness here and there for a while longer. I am not looking forward yet to heading home to see the beautiful girls' room we all created or all of the clothes we have had for her.

Tomorrow we visit the new little boy we have been spending a great deal of time with. He adores my husband Michael. Pulls at his hair, hugs him and laughs hysterically. The boy can be clown yet very smart about getting what he wants. Super stubborn, hehe. Brown hair, brown eyes, olive skin, lots of smiles and seems to love to play cat and mouse by running and looking back to see if we are following.

Part 2 Photos

2011-10-04T04:22:00.000-07:00

Photos of Trip So Far

2011-10-04T04:15:00.000-07:00

Drinking Tea at the Vlad Inn & Thoughts

2011-10-04T03:16:00.000-07:00

Familiar Faces through the years... The one comforting aspect of an adoption in Vladivostok, Russia is the familiarity. Although our adoption process has been rocky, I still stand by the people who have been helping us throughout. There is a special place for each person who has helped us take one more step in this journey.

To us they are family as they have given us more than we could ever have asked for with Alexei, a trooper in this trip to Russia. A typical three year old but asked to do so much from meeting his potential sister to his new brother to returning to his baby home and saying hello to everyone so politely.

He calls it "his old home" and I love how much he takes pride in Russia, whether it be yelling it from the tarmac "Back in Russia" or mentioning Russia every where we seem to go here. He was incredibly excited even to see the monument up top the hill in Vladivstok. For a three year old he just puts me in awe each day.

Even when it comes to him chasing after each girl. Oh dear, these boys are going to do a number on us lol.
He saw another girl today and ran after her down the Vlad Inn path to the park. When it comes to a boy, he stops, looks at them and stares at them cautiously lol.

I have also come to meet such incredible families once again at the Vlad Inn who are also going through the process.

Thank you Shelly for your incredibly kind message. It was wonderful meeting you today and I have to admit, you are in the most incredible hands here. One of my favorite people here to have on your side.

Let's see what another day brings us!

A Day with My Son Alexei in the Park We Played in 2 Years Ago

2011-10-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

Alexei and I were able to have a few hours alone today. We decided on this chilly October day to set out to the park behind the Vlad Motor Inn. I watched him as he ran around the tennis court, went down the new tube slide and said hello to a pigeon. I couldn't help but think about how small he was when we first came to this park together. The waddling 15 month old, so tiny and yet ran around in slower fashion.

Today we spent time in the lobby while he stood with the hotel clown and she blew up balloons for him. Incredibly wonderful to see how well he does with all of the other children who speak Russian. He seems to enjoy playing with the children, running around together and laughing. I stand in awe at the strength he has had and the light emotions he has shown in returning to Russia. When we landed with Korean Air, he yelled "Back to Russia!" I cannot even imagine what people thought as his excitement was clearly shown in his loud voice, hands on the airplane window and huge smile.

He has also declared his love loudly for two girls. "I love her!" "I love her!" He yells. Oh boy, to have two boys who charm the pants off these girls.

Customs Experience: So, we are in line waiting to go through customs. We are next and Alexei has been pretty patient. DEAR LORD, you will not believe what he said and did: Long Lines, Sister in front of us waiting for the customs agent to return her passport, suddenly Alexei says, "Hey Sweetheart, we've been waiting long enough, it's our turn." THANK GOODNESS he is 3 years old. That is the only way we were able to get away with that. Whew.

From the moment I first met my son, I felt this instant connection and here we are back in Russia after 2 years of being together. He is my everything and the alone time is certainly cherished even when we sit together and converse at the table over lunch about Sponge Bob.

I often whisper when we are running around in his ears, "I love you" in Russian and he says it back quietly. There is nothing quite like the mother and son bond. I will say today, he answered the coordinator when she asked if he wanted to go meet his brother, he said, "My sister". He is still trying to figure things out since he met the girl we thought to be his sister and he became hooked. I show him video of his new brother and I think about the potential of me raising two sons. A funny thought really. Hockey, tennis, I suppose our house is ready for sure. Double the Trouble I say.

Alexei has waited months thinking we are bringing home his sister so this should be really interesting as to whether we are able to bring home a brother or if I am going to have to explain to him we are going home without his brother or sister. Aye, aye, aye is all I can say. I am so hoping to not have this conversation with him if we have to leave without.

It surely is a beautiful sunny, chilly day in Vladivostok. Chilly 37 in the evening and 55 during the day.

Adoption Update: Court on Hold

2011-10-01T02:51:00.000-07:00

I know there are many waiting to read an update on our adoption journey.

We arrived safely in Vladivostok, happily at the Vlad Motor Inn. Korea was very nice and they have renovated the transit hotel with flat screen televisions, new beds, new showers/tubs, very nice.

It was very warm and humid the first couple of days in Vladivostok and now it is around 37 at night and 60 during the day. The leaves are falling and the autumn chill is in the air.

I unpacked all of our clothes including our daughter's clothes and put out her first outfit, a very cute blue ruffly skirt, black polka dot tights, white shoes, black long sleeve shirt and sweater with matching knit hat.

We went to visit our daughter to be the first 2 days where we saw other children playing and took our son back to his baby home. He enjoyed it very much. He said hello to everyone, shook their hands and played with the toys. He said to my sister later that he had visited his old home. He was very happy with his sister. He gave her big hugs and she was all over him, just about chasing him down.

The day before court, we said our paka paka's to our daughter to be, she hugged us like crazy that day and reached out for us. She had become so attached giggling and wanting up over and over. I was so happy with our daughter to be. She was sweet, smiling all of the time and was just a wonderful little girl. We had gone shopping for baby food, drinks and diapers and then back to the hotel to rest.

The day before court I never thought life would change once again for us. My sister and I had taken Alexei out for a walk around the hotel getting some fresh air. As I turned the corner, I saw our coordinator standing with my husband at the back door waving me over. I knew at that moment something was incredibly wrong.

Indeed the information was not good. We had lost our daughter to be at the very last moment, the ever so feared witching hour. A relative had come forth, however not guaranteed but put a stop to us getting to bring our little girl into our family. The bonding, the hugs, the smiles and the thoughts were all lost to one fact "I would never see her again".

I suppose it was the last line, "I would never see her again" that made my heart sink. It was broken. My husband took it hardest on the first day and I stayed strong trying to figure out what was next for us. The second day I was not great but things were moving fast and I had to keep up. We were already seeing a new referral of a little boy. A little boy who reminded me of our own son just with brown hair, brown eyes and olive skin.

So here I was realizing that everyone back home, our parents, family, friends all wanted to know what happened and I couldn't even bring the words out to tell them what or how I truly felt. I think as most who knew here were left speechless. This is how I feel.

I would walk into our bedroom and want to walk back out seeing the girls clothing, the first outfit, the 3 little pairs of shoes and the small knit hats. Then I would think of the little girl room we all created and what was waiting for her. It felt like a huge weight pulling down inside my chest and my stomach, like a sudden, great loss.

My son who had met his sister was so excited to see her again and I wasn't even sure how to tell him he didn't have a sister anymore, now a brother. He did not accept it until late today when he finally said "okay".

We know not of what will happen in the next few days. We have spent time with a little boy, given him a name and hope that everything will turn out successful. Honestly, I fear the outcome as I am not sure it will all work out but hope fate will come through the way it is supposed to for us.

I cannot put in words the loss we feel and yet the hope we have that things will come out the way we need them too. Either way, we hold tight that Alexei will be able to bring home that sibling he has so been waiting to come to Russia for.

3 days and Counting to Vladivostok

2011-09-21T11:59:00.000-07:00

I am running around like a crazy person trying to get everything done, however wanted to stop in and update the blog quickly.

We leave in 3 days to Vladivostok for our Court Date.

It is 37 degrees right now at night so I am glad I had a difficult time packing before as I would have had to re-pack the entire suitcase.

At this point, Cordelia's room has 3 suitcases awaiting organization. As much as I try to go smaller, then it gets colder and I need to have jackets for the kids, hats and warmer clothing than what we originally had prepared for late summer.

In fact, now that I think about it tomorrow is the beginning of Autumn already! WOW, time flies.

Today I pick up my sister who will be traveling with us for the first 10 days. I have not seen her for 7 years! Since we are in Vlad for almost 24 days, it was a bit long to ask anyone to stay for that length of time.

I am printing up photos of our little one's to put into the Vlad Photo Album.

We received confirmation of our Korean Transit Hotel room today on the way there. Love the airport there, so much to do and a Starbucks! Last stop for a Starbucks for the next 24 days or so. I advise VIA, I have had some and a girlfriend recommended taking a whole bunch.

Travel visas arrive today or tomorrow.

Orphans At Play Family Kits

2011-09-19T00:12:00.001-07:00

Family Kits are now available in our Orphans at Play Store.

The Family Kits make an excellent gift for an adoption baby shower if your sister or friend is waiting for their beautiful child from Russia or if you simply want to surprise the family with a coming home gift to say Congratulations. Nothing is more special than saying we are so happy for all of you with a package representing their child's heritage and culture.

Our Orphans at Play Kits come packaged in a gift box with a special note to say Thank You. The kits include a T-shirt, Baseball Cap, Stationary and the choice of a Necklace or Key Chain. Choose between 2 designs: The Orphans at Play Design or our Popular Matyroshka Design. All kits are available in either white or black (add $5 for black).

Coming soon, we will sell each item individually.

Family Kits

5 Days and Counting

2011-09-19T00:10:00.000-07:00

Just 5 days away to waking up and getting on an airplane to complete our adoption of our 17 month old baby girl, Cordelia Anya.

Of course the list is huge in between but each day we have been doing a good job at knocking down the items one by one.

My biggest challenge right now is finding out what to wear for 39-43 degrees at night and 65 during the day. I had all of my summer clothes picked out and now I am layering and grabbing the sweaters.

I do love Autumn though and have never been to Russia in Autumn. So far just spring and summer.

There should be about 7- 10 days of rain while we are there so I have packed the dvd's, music and toys, which will be ready for Alexei.

My sister comes in on Wednesday to fly with us on Saturday and she will be with us a total of 10 days there, which should really help us and give Alexei someone more exciting during the down times ;)

It will surely be busy but I am hoping for some vacation too in between our work days, court date and concluding business.

You will be missed... an amazingly sweet kitty.

2011-09-14T12:42:00.000-07:00

Our life has been a crazy roller coaster with adoption tasks, knowing our daughter is waiting for us, having to pull things together for extra paper work for the judge, re-doing medicals (I have over 70 pages of paperwork now, like a dossier 3), however it comes down to the incredible emotional ups and downs that have hit us in between this adventure. Between Michael's father still being in the hospital, doing better though but at 8 weeks still in hospital, it takes a toll on all of the family, poor guy and now we have had to deal with Michael's kitty, who we have had for 11 years together.

His name is Xerxes and I remember him rolling his head around on the open stairway peaking at me through the stairs. He was young then and frisky, most of all one of the sweetest personalities. In fact, he is still this way, except for one factor, due to either being exposed to plastic or ceramic dishes, he has a tumor in his bottom jaw. A tumor that took hold of him only a couple of months ago. We took him into the doctors and they said he is probably allergic to plastic. Okay, well he didn't get any better.

I took him in a couple of weeks later after the previous diagnosis and the vet said, this cat is extremely sick with cancer from the tumor and he will not make it before you leave for Russia. You may want to put him down.

For the last 2 weeks, I have watched Xerxes walk around, eat like crazy and yet the tumor grows literally over night. We have now come to the fact that it is closing up his airways. Most would think why haven't we put him down yet? Well, because you would never know he had cancer if it wasn't for his face and jaw. He is so happy, so lovable, purring and follows us all around. I took a flash light in last night and noticed we had very little time left before he wasn't going to make it and I didn't want to see the tumor close his airways.

I have to pick up Michael from work today, notarize two papers and run him home so he can take Xerxes to be put to sleep. It is a very sad day and incredibly sad when you think you have to put your cat in a carrier to the vet to never return home. The thought of that kills me, however it must be done. Timing is never great as we are trying to keep our strength up and our energy to make it to Russia next week.

Having said this as I go through some of the grieving process today is that, Xerxes, I have never met such an amazingly sweet kitty and although my kitty, your bff died 7 years ago due to be scared to death by a bengal that followed me home, I hope you both can meet up again on the other side. We will miss you but know you will have some peace and I am so very sorry that at this young age, you have had to go through this aggressive cancer and not be ready. As it makes me think about the people we have lost and animals due to similar circumstances.

Pack Early: Good advice and I am glad I did.

2011-09-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

Last night around midnight when the house was finally quiet, I decided to put our little girls clothes into the suitcase so one family member could be packed.

What I found out was this:

We did not have ANY sweaters, cardigans or otherwise for this little girl!! That's right. Nothing to go over her shoulders with all of her cute little dresses or shirts.

It is a good thing I started to pack early as Russia would not have liked me bringing her during the start of the Autumn season having nothing to keep her warm :)

I am off to find a sweater or two this week as when we return back to Seattle, it should be plenty cool outside just in time for the pumpkin patch and wheel barrel ride. I cannot wait to take these two wild kids to the Halloween pumpkin patch.

School Supplies for Kirovksy Home Marathon 12 Day Fundraiser a Success

2011-09-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

Orphans at Play is proud to announce we have reached and surpassed our goal for the Kirovsky School Supplies 12 Day Fundraising Marathon. Thank you to all of those who gave support in this speedy marathon. We have raised over $300 dollars to bring paper, pencils and various other school supplies to the orphanage. Michele Philips Baransky will be matching all of your donations and we will be bringing the donations over to Vladivostok in two weeks, just in time for school.

This has been a proven success and we hope to bring future marathon fundraisers for various baby homes in the Primorsky Krai region.

Kirovsky Goal Reached

Court Date!

2011-09-09T12:19:00.000-07:00

We have a September 29th Court Date!

It doesn't feel real yet but with all of the paperwork we will be flying around doing the next 1.5 weeks, it will keep us busy among other things. Just hoping it will all be good and ready for court. Maybe it is because we have so many things hanging over our heads with the paperwork this time, it feels more nerve wrecking. Oh well, a date is indeed what we needed and we have it.

Hooray!

Vacations Galore....... Equal Slower Adoption Process :(

2011-09-08T13:37:00.000-07:00

I have finally decided to write a bit about how frustrated I feel at the moment when normally I am pretty relaxed and patient. I can wait 3 months and be fine knowing there is a travel date coming up but thinking about the fact that there may not be a court date until the corning of our 5th month waiting since I have seen our daughter to be, well, I am slowly unraveling.

In the midst of this long wait, suddenly there is a rush of paperwork to be done. I am a problem solver and started solving a couple of the areas right away thinking, okay I can do this. Then I find out that our medicals must be re-done as well. Spent the evening in the hospital getting labs done and now I am finding out that the medical doctor is going out of town for 1.5 weeks and will not be able to sign the entire form, however another doctor can fill in the form for one lab test. Crossing my fingers this is going to work as they both work in the same office and I have obtained verification letters now for both doctors too.

Through verification I have had to plead with the state board as their personal went on vacation for 2 weeks LOL. I am hoping that there is someone we can find in the meantime.

Then I speak with agency and find out there are two more people in the arms we need to get things done that are on vacation. It is September and we waited all of August hearing each week, "Russia is on holidays." All month, same message. We get into September, find out we need more paper work, also to re-do paper work and now half the people to help us do this are out of town.

It leaves me in the end of this blog almost speechless.

Adoption is one of the most stressful things to go through with a huge reward at the end of the tunnel and I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, however it is an extremely rigorous process where one needs so many levels of support, ability to vent and just be in a time when that often feels impossible.

As I sit here answering calls, making calls, sending e-mails, sending faxes I also think about what do I prepare for? When are we going? When should I pack? What will I need? How cold will it be? How much will my daughter have grown? How old will she be? What has she been doing all of this time? Has her smile faded at all when we have seen her from photos?

As I end all of the office work today, I will then go to return all of the 12 month size clothing as she will most likely be almost 18 months by the time we bring her home.

What amazes me is that we have a healthy 3 year old boy from Russia who we are bringing with us, I wish this would account for something since even a recent post placement has gone in explaining everything about who we are and our lives and yet I have to worry right now about a psychologist putting in more about our personalities.

Exciting News: Orphans at Play Store is Now Open!

2011-09-06T00:20:00.001-07:00

Check out the new custom designed necklaces. These are perfect for showing your Russian adoption pride, bringing awareness to children in Russia and supporting Orphans at Play's Grandma Mentoring Program. Proceeds will directly be given to our Grandma program and helping the children of Vladivostok who are waiting for families.

Interact in play. Support Through Love. Increase growth and development.

Simply put: Play. Love. Grow.

New products will be released throughout the next few weeks. Need a special birthday gift? Thinking about the perfect present for a family coming home from Russia? Or a baby shower gift? A wonderful teacher? These special designs come with a ribbon tie necklace and a special note to say thank you for helping us give back.

We will be releasing the rest of the designs in the brochure throughout the week!
Orphans at Play Store

Mission Accomplished 100 Diaper Creams!

2011-09-04T23:35:00.000-07:00

Orphans at Play would like to thank you all for the support we have received towards our Helping Hands program. We made our 100 diaper cream goal!

This is incredibly exciting and we would like to show you just how easy it is for anyone who would like to donate diaper cream to the baby homes and hospitals in Vladivostok. A couple of jumbo plastic bags easily found in your local grocery store will hold them well at the bottom of your suitcase.

The current bags we have going to Vladivostok will be going to help baby hospital #3, baby home #3 and baby home #1.

A big thank you to Jody who organized the diaper cream deliveries to go to traveling families. If you would like to join others in our Helping Hands program, contact Jody

as she is ready to accept more Jackets n Hats for our Annual Winter Drive.

GOTCHA DAY! 2 Years to the day. August 24th, 2009.

2011-08-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

Mama, I'm not a baby, I'm a boy!

Yep, you sure are a boy Alexei. 2 years ago we rushed to baby home #3. I still remember your Papa coming out of the store with 2 cakes, one in each hand. Then off to sign the last bit of our paper work at the Social Worker's office and one last drive to the baby home to pick you up.

They brought you out in an orange and white jumper with 2 goldfish crackers that you held so tightly in your little hand. You cried (they brought you from lunch) and we dressed you quickly, left and drove back to the Vlad Inn where you stood in front of us with your first pair of blue jeans and a black short sleeve T-shirt over a white long sleeve that said "Mama's Love Me". You looked up at us, wanted to be held and kept us close to you at all times.

You were so small, only a 9 month size in clothing but you sure had no problem putting your first pair of converse on and running up and down the halls with me. The first day of the rest of our lives with this little blonde, blue eyed cutie. Little did we know at the time your personality was going to blossom into what seems like a daily theater production starring you, Logan Alexei Booth.

2 years ago today we brought you into our lives and today we wait for the call for a court date to bring home your sister.

Update on Our Winter Jackets n' Hats Drive

2011-08-22T22:44:00.001-07:00

Have an ol' piece of luggage laying around? Donate it to Orphans at Play Winter Jackets n' Hats Drive and give those traveling with donations a good opportunity for an easy delivery to children in need. If you happen to be traveling soon, why not fill an ol' piece of luggage with jackets n hats for a baby home, baby hospital or orphanage. The winter months are ahead and brrr... with cool, often snowy months on average 7f -14c degrees in Vladivostok, a warm hat or cozy jacket becomes a necessity.

Children in Vladivostok have incredibly warm hearts and the sweetest smiles. We want to do everything we can to comfort them while they wait for loving families to take them home. Please help us give back as so many of us have clothes too small for our children laying around in a closet. Or if you have the talent to knit, think of all of the children who will smile as they are given a handmade hat made just for them.

We have reached out across the country and the following people have volunteered their time and efforts for collection. If you are near by one of these areas, contact the person below.
The following contacts are available for area drop off locations:

Jody in Greenville, Ohio
Autumn in Denair, California
Lilian in Gaithersburg, Maryland
Meredith in Cleveland, Ohio
Melissa in Alabama
Christen in Elmhurst, Illinois
Sabrina in Florida
HunterAnn in Seattle, Washington

If you prefer to send the items, please contact Jody .

Image provided by:

Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

By Request

2011-08-18T21:19:00.000-07:00

Hello Guys,

I am not someone to post a lot about our children until they are in our arms, however here are tiny deets as requested by a few:

- 16 months old

- Girl

- A little over 2.5 feet

- American Sizing Average for Head

- 23lbs American Sizing Average for Weight

She does not really have hair so I cannot say. Looks to be possible dark blonde, light brown. Grayish/blue eyes. Huge Smile. Just barely stops smiling, babbling lots, walks with us with just one of our fingers and loves to pull all of my jewelry already and play with her shoes.

Let's Reach Our Goal of 100 Tubes of Diaper Cream This August

2011-08-17T00:56:00.000-07:00

Help Orphans at Play reach our goal of 100 diaper cream tubes to be taken to Vladivostok within the next 4 weeks. We are currently at around 75 tubes. Let's see if we can get at least 25 more tubes before the end of August!

A big thank you to those who are donating and those who are traveling to get these tubes to the baby homes in need. For those who are waiting for a list of requests from the baby homes, we are working on this and have received great feedback so far. Stay tuned for a list we will be posting soon.

Any questions, please contact Jody

Borscht борщ

2011-08-17T00:21:00.000-07:00

Growing up my grandmother did not cook too often due to her schedule, however Borscht was always a tradition and I remember it well. I can still remember my grandmother standing over by the stove with my mother and both of them working on dinner. I remember the bowls filled with a dark purple soup and a spoonful of sour cream on the top. My grandmother's borscht was a tad sweet, much like taking a bite out of a beet, strong and sweet with a touch of sour from the cream, which I liked to stir into the soup.

When Michael and I were in Vladivostok this past May, our wonderful coordinator Anya took us to a lunch downtown and I have to say it was probably one of the best Borscht soups I have ever had. Unlike my grandmother's, which I loved too, this was very light and with plenty of lemon. I probably could have eaten it every day lol much like I have done with the French Onion soup at the Vlad Motor Inn.

Both soups are so good, however this late summer when the days have been in the 70's (I know backeasters and southern cali's, that really isn't considered hot) I am craving a lighter and cooler type of dinner and with wanting to pass down traditions within our family, I have decided to make this cold borscht recipe and share it with any of you interested in trying something new. It does not have it in this recipe, however I am not big on the sliced egg and probably would prefer the sour cream. Since I am non dairy now, I will skip the sour cream but highly recommend it.

Cold Borscht Recipe

Gazing out the window thinking about how quickly our lives change

2011-08-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

A blink of an eye. Sure becoming a parent was super difficult but now I can barely think about when we didn't have Alexei. It feels like he has been here for so long with us, although just curbing around Gotcha day coming up in a week to make our family anniversary 2 years.

As I gaze out the bay window of my living room hearing the kids play down the street watching the breeze through the trees I sit and think about how quickly our life changes. Recently, both sides of our family have undergone incredibly heart breaking issues still struggling with trying to make it through each of them and yet this comes at one of our most anticipated moments in our life when we bring home a grandchild.

A strange twist of fate as my husband says optimistically, "this is what fate has in store." Sometimes, I wish I could use fate as a punching bag every once in awhile. Michael's parents, my second parents, people who have been there for us like, well parents. If it wasn't for them, we would not have Alexei. Their support is the type of support I want to be for my children the rest of my life. People you can look up to, people who are kind, fair and most of all, in difficult times, our greatest support.

Michael's father is in the hospital, has been for 3 weeks I guess now. I sigh heavily even writing this as I just feel so much for what they both are going through. Although we all follow it each day, there is a complete admiration I have for his mother. She gives her everything to him as she said in an e-mail and she does. She goes to the hospital every day and stays hours, breaks and comes back for hours while holding up the house, dog, her rental properties and grandchildren in Toronto.

She has been with him since out of high school and they pushed together through life's greatest challenges, warmest moments and share incredible memories. I sit here hoping that this is in store for Michael and I and that we can be that couple decades later getting through each day and making the most of each hour.

As the hospital prepares him for open heart surgery, we wait for good news, we wait to hear grandpa will be home and on skype in a few weeks. Grandpa is Alexei's second man to Michael. He loves grandpa. Talks about him all the time and my heart gets all weak having to explain that grandpa is not feeling well but soon you can see him on the computer, I say.

I write this full of emotions and who wouldn't feel those emotions. This year has been a serious test. Most who know me know that I have a huge heart, love for people and life, however it doesn't always show easily as my husband says to me two days ago while making the bed, "I should just face the fact I married a Russian woman." He smiled and I said what is meant by that? I know he is referring to me taking after my grandmother, our strength is on the outside as well as on the inside but we carry heavy hearts.
[On the surface he probably also meant that although he just tore into his nail and it hurt like hell, I said "come on, pull up the blanket" and he said, he hurt himself and I said, "you will be fine, let's go, get the comforter up". In my small defense, it was midnight and he was taking forever ;) lol]

Michael got me a necklace I refuse to take off and it is a lion carrying his heart on his back, a 19th century stamp. I suppose I use writing as a way to express what lies inside my heart.

First Annual Winter Jackets & Hats Drive

2011-08-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

The fresh scent of fall is soon to be in the air when children are in need of extra clothing for the upcoming cooler seasons. Volunteer needs are at an all time high, lend a helping hand and support Orphans at Play for their first Helping Hands Winter Jackets & Hats Clothing Drive. We are hoping to reach those who would like to help and those who are traveling soon to the Vladivostok region within the next month or two and can take an old piece of luggage full of clothes and supplies or simply save a little room when packing for a few jackets or hats.

We are looking for jackets for small children up to 16 years of age and winter hats of any kind to help keep these children warm. If you are traveling, we recommend the use of vacuum bags as they work very well in suitcases and saves plenty of room.

Contact the director Jody Garber of the Helping Hands project at Orphans At Play where we hope to have several volunteers from across the world to help us give back to Vladivostok and the children in need of warmth in the coming seasons.

Courtesy of Jody Garber

Vladivostok Motor Inn- It's a Small World

2011-08-11T12:54:00.000-07:00

A simple, "Out of Order" sign on a dryer becomes a connection. Too funny.

It is a small world when months later after a trip to Russia we meet people who were residing in the the same Vlad Motor Inn. Not only do we meet them online, we find we will be working with them on the same passionate goals to help these children we left behind.

It is hilarious too when they mention they may have seen you in the breakfast nook. This made my day as I thought wow, the hotel is really quiet and there are really no other parents around and yet here we were all catching glimpses of one another.

I consider myself extremely social and will walk up to people I do not know and introduce myself, even when two people are eating breakfast in a small motor inn, most likely taking in the atmosphere and what they are going through emotionally. Haha, Stella! You were one I found.

Yes, I like to connect, share and smile at those who may be going through the same things my husband and I are working through and experiencing. Through these introductions, I have found either life long friends, those who I will remember forever and those who became family because we were brought together to sit and wait during the last bit of labor pains bringing our children back to our room and being their mom or dad for the very first time.

I will NEVER forget my girlfriend who is like my sister now who I sat and watched her nervously for hours! Yes, hours as she waited and waited to go pick up her children. Her face, her excitement, her nerves and her need to have the coordinator bring back our husbands so she could share these moments with him.

Life is insane when you think about the thousands of miles we travel only to find those who will be in our life or a passerby or someone who has touched us and our memories forever.

In short, if you see me, say hello as I will most likely have a smile on my face thousands of miles from home ;)

56 Item To Do List

2011-08-10T12:41:00.000-07:00

I decided to type out my list recently and put it up on the cork board. Well, it is 5 pages long lol. I keep adding to it each day so the list is now up to 56 items I need to complete before travel.

Tall order? Well, I like challenges or at least life says I should ;)

No word yet on court dates. We will be entering the 3.5 month range from when we first saw our little girl but then August is a popular month for vacations. Our last court date was August 20th from 2 years ago. There are lots of families traveling in the next few weeks so good luck to all of you!!! You all are in our thoughts. :)

I hope by September we have a court date so we can beat the deadline for having to re-do all of our medicals. Eeks, the expense for re-doing all of the medicals in the United States can range a couple of thousand dollars. Cross your fingers everyone! With the new requirements, lab work and chest x-ray, the costs go way up when insurance is cut out for having us do it the second time around. The notary at the doctors took me a few calls to the agency and another couple of hundred dollars and almost 2.5 hours! LOL, I laugh now but that day was stressful! Whew.

I am going to use this time wisely and start cutting the numbers down on my to do list. Oh, I need to make a packing list still ..... 57 ....... hahahahaha.

The process may be crazy but it sure is fun to go through a second time now that I know what to expect, I find humor in everything we do.

Helping Hands Program is requesting Diaper Cream Donations

2011-08-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

Orphans at Play
Helping Hands

Orphanages have limited funding by the government to provide meals and basic care. There are consistent requests and needs on a daily basis to give these children comfort and care with simple items:

* diapers
* rash ointment
* clothes

Any families traveling soon that can take a large shipment of Desitin (or other brands) for us? I currently have 27 tubes sitting here that need to go and am expecting about that many more to show up at my house in the next few days. I can supply a small suitcase to carry it if anyone would be willing to lug yet another bag with them!
Thanks!!
Please contact Jody Garber Jody

Short Post: My Toddler Packing for Russia

2011-08-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

Hilarious, as we have already experienced Alexei going to the door with his luggage in hand saying, "Let's go to Russia now". I tell him over and over, "We must wait for the call. They will call us on the phone," and I show him the phone.

So today I went to his closet where both of his little luggage pieces are and found them totally packed. YUP! One person has packed in this household for Russia. HAHA. I love this boy. He just makes me laugh sometimes.

I sat down with him while making my lists and said, "Okay, Alexei what would you like to bring to Russia?" He says as he holds out his fingers, pulling down on each one,
"I waaant to bring...(pause).....(rolls out quickly)
Buzz, Woody, Monkey and I want to watch Toy Story, Buzz 2, Stitch, Buzz 3, Harry Potter, Monster House, oh and lots of Mickey Mouse, I need Mickey Mouse annnnnnd Lion King, the funny one, crappy Grinch (the Jim Carrey one, ugh), Monsters, oh and Bob Sponge." Yes, that is backwards to Alexei.

I love my one on one mother/son time, cherish it lots but I sure cannot wait what the little girl's twist will be on our life. Should be entertaining for sure. :)

Orphans At Play

2011-08-05T14:09:00.000-07:00

Orphans at Play-
Please visit our website and "like" our fan page on Facebook. We have many great things in store for this foundation and hope to make a difference in the lives of children in Russia and children who are transitioning to America with their new adoptive families.

orphans at play

Welcome to Orphans at Play

Adoption brought us together as we embarked on the road to Vladivostok, Russia through a journey visiting several baby homes, baby hospitals and orphanages in the region. In bringing home our own children we suddenly had to play catch up as our children were behind physically and developmentally. We found there is one common theme among our conversations: the children had limited stimulation before coming into their families. Many children without early attachment and bonding may experience reactive attachment disorder, sensory integration concerns and hyperactivity just to name a few. Through research, Orphans at Play has the opportunity to bring the latest in current development and create solutions to support the children in the baby hospitals, orphanages and those in transition to their new families.

Children in these homes often miss out on simple pleasures and needs we take for granted each day. We experienced the joys of smiling and hugging our children who curiously looked into our eyes and reveled in watching them feel the grass under their feet for the first time. The sad truth is these children lose one month of develop for every three months of their life institutionalized. Our experiences have led us to a passion for helping the orphans we left behind, those greatly in need of simple items: clothing, diaper cream, daily stimulation and a good foundation in nutrition. We have teamed together and with your help will have a greater impact to fundraise and support our mission in the region.

Orphans at Play is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization dedicated to raising funds for basic needs, accommodating requests from orphanages in the region and providing support for the grandma mentoring program. We believe strongly in the art of play and loving interaction with children in order to provide and strengthen the development in each child. Our goals include an opportunity to give each child hope and provide for future missions to directly impact orphans in need now.

Meet our officers:

Sabrina Dickenson: Founder and Executive Director
Heather Overstreet: Co-Founder and Operations Director
HunterAnn Booth: Co-Founder and Marketing & Communications Director
Jody Garber: Helping Hands Director
Melissa Bridges: Research and Development Director
Dr. Shelley Steenrod: Attachment and Programs Director

Lists, Lists, Lists

2011-08-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

For the first trip to Russia, I had a list on the wall, type written 2 pages long.

I am creating lists through out the day when something comes to my mind I write it down. I have realized that for the second, three week trip, I am thinking the lists will be 3-4 pages long lol.

I highly suggest lists due to the amount of items you must complete from tourist or business visas, to doggie kennels, vet faxing in case of an emergency down to what to bring for the children. The pack list is 1 page in itself. And when it comes down to a possible 10 day to 3 week notice, we must be prepared to pick up and go.

Items like showing the house sitter around, buying those last minute travel necessities, having a copy of the dossier to take with me, lab reports, chest x-ray discs, emergency numbers, buying cat food, getting the little girl's room ready to sleep in when she returns and so much more. Time consuming so even if you haven't received the call yet, best to just plan on getting some of these done ahead of time since when the call does come in, you will be busy getting money exchanged, working on the visas and travel arrangements. All time consuming as well so setting priorities within time periods is the best way to go.

I did not realize this as much the first adoption and we had to run around with our heads cut off. Probably will end up doing it again anyways, lol.

A few tactics that can work when things don't go your way

2011-07-23T02:05:00.000-07:00

It is 2am and I went to bed and began thinking of all of the different crazy things I have done as a parent that have actually worked when confronting behavior issues. We all face them and we either become stressed or upset or just don't know what to do or maybe you have found tactics that work for you.

Alexei was screaming in the car one time having a tantrum about leaving a toy store. This had been going for awhile and I could not stop the escalation in time to full blown crying.
- I screamed loudly with him for 2 seconds. Sounds weird? He stopped, looked at me and started laughing with puffy wet cheeks.

Alexei doesn't want me to change his diaper. This is on and off again as we go through potty training.
- Oh really, I say and he says, no. Okay, well then I guess I will be going. Let me know when you need your diaper changed. Hmm, maybe I will watch a tv show of my choice. Yay for Mama. He suddenly is on the diaper changer lol.

I've learned that walking away and agreeing with him often gets the opposite reaction, the one I wanted in the first place. Sigh.

Alexei doesn't want to leave the house to go out, he would rather test me at the door, smile, laugh and crawl up the stairs to have me chase him. Common for a lot of parents I hear.
- Tried walking out the door but he waved at me goodbye lol.
- Chocolate covered graham crackers worked once.
- I guess you are not going to play later worked another time.
Again, very long negotiations with Alexei so you have to nip it before it becomes a lawyers argument.
- Usually picking him up and taking him to the car is a good response.

Tantrums or any type of crying that is just a short form of I am unable to completely communicate with you Mama but this is what I want or I am not getting my way, therefore I will cry my way out.

-ACT SILLY!!!! Sounds weird huh? Well, Alexei was crying (making noise on this occasion as he turns it off quickly with no tears) he will smile too afterwards.
I decided to dance all crazy. He stopped, looked at me and had no idea what to do but he did listen and we were all happy again.

-One time I burst out in song, totally worked. That usually gets him. Either he says, "No Mama, you need to stop now." Or he looks at me smiling and on occasion and joins in.

We are quick to get stressed and over tired by having to combat the 2-4 yr old negotiation tactics and tantrums and what I have come to learn is that if you can be silly, do it as it may save you a lot of heartache and slowly turn things around with your child.

The other tactic that works for me is removing him from the situation, holding him in my arms and saying, "I need you to listen to me." And we have a conversation, he calms down and we go about our business.

Another one I like to use if he says no, I say ok, tickle time! And then he comes around pretty fast unless he wants to be tickled but eventually he will give in.

Alexei actually puts himself in time out so usually the use of time outs would be good and often I will ask him if he is frustrated or acting out, do you need a time out? And he will say yes or no and if it is yes, he will walk to his room and get a book or roll around in his bed. Then he will come out when he is done, usually a few minutes later.

If he pulls the dog's tail (his best friend) I was told to over exaggerate my response with the dog by saying, "Ohhh Bernie, poor Bernie, are you okay? That must have hurt." Alexei looks at me, will see my actions, say sorry to Bernie and give him a hug. This took a couple of times to get Alexei to see what he was doing.

Parenting is hard. Yeh, I have over 20 books or so my mother thought to send me on parenting lol but from what I've learned on the job and being a parent, you just have to try things out and know when you need a time out.

One last tactic, call your girlfriends! Your mother! Whoever! Sometimes it is just good to laugh with a girlfriend as they always seem to make you feel brand new. :)

Mama's or Papa's, yes you are Super Hero's all of You!

2011-07-23T01:34:00.000-07:00

I have seen some good postings lately about challenges with their children and often we do not express that there are times when, let's face it, being a parent is the toughest job.

I sometimes sit down to watch Louis C.K. at night after the boy has gone to bed and for most of you who know us, most likely that time is around midnight as my son has a sleeping disorder (hoping temporary but has had it since Russia 2yrs ago). He gets to see a specialist soon.

Back to my thought, Louis says it right as he has children and has no hesitation saying it the way it is, but sometimes the best break is when you buckle them in their car seat on your way some where, shut the door and then I take one minute to sit, breathe and look at the sky. Why? Well, if you knew just what it takes to get out of the door! Lol. Usually a long negotiation using all of the tactics I had when I was working with children with behavior challenges and what happens? I throw him over my shoulder and carry him out of the doorway. What is he doing? Laughing or kicking, one of the two.

Having said that as my mother who had a 10 day visit, who I brought up to observe Alexei as she is a child development specialist, crisis and trauma counselor and university professor (work a holic, can you tell?) said "You are very lucky, he is extremely smart, attentive and you are raising an adult". Huh? Yes, he is an adult for the most part with child like tantrums hehe. He eats salami and marinated veggies and would rather drink my iced tea or sneak a sip of coffee when I am not looking over drinking his juice or soy milk. Yes, he asks for goat cheese, very specific. Loves anything with garlic. So, he has an advances palette, however try having a long conversation with him on why he should go to bed, or why he believes it is important that he be the barista every day pretending to make me coffee or why he would rather shop in the clothes stores over playing in the children's areas. Yup, that's right. He will go in there, 5 minutes later, "mama or papa, will you take me to the store?"

At other times he is pretend playing super hero's, pleading to watch Dr. Who, uh, yeh don't think so unless it has been pre-watched by me or he is dressing up in costume or doing a monologue on our bed with his hands in the air as if he was doing a Shakespearean play.

All in all my child has more energy than 3 adults, does not need naps as he says, doesn't take them and stays up until midnight, even to just talk in his bed to the silence in the room for an hour. He is in love with the moon and looks for it every other night yelling, "the moon!" "the moon!"

I suggest if there are heightened behavior issues up or down, have the child checked for anemia. This was in fact our issue and he is now balancing out behavior wise a bit more.

Every where I take him, we stop and he will have a full conversation either with the doctor who he promptly could not handle him telling him he had to sleep because for the rest of the day he was in a slump, emotionally upset and worried that we would enforce what the doctor said about his sleeping habits. On the bright side, he puts himself in time outs lol.

3 years old and yes, there are challenges up the wazoo! Mama lives off of espresso and is looking forward to adding on more to this fun family of 3 plus four leggeds so she can really test out her energetic ability!

It is OKAY to feel spent.
It is OKAY to feel impatient.
It is OKAY to need a break.
It is OKAY to want to scream in a pillow.
It is OKAY to laugh hysterically while your child asks if you are okay.
It is OKAY to sit down and tell your son, I need a time out for a minute or two.
It is OKAY to be you, to be the most incredible, energetic fun loving parent who must be on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is okay to be paranoid at times about your children and to just stare at them for an hour at night while they finally sleep. (A miracle in our house).

It is OKAY, hell, they do all of the above, why can't we?

I love my son more than anything in this world, he is my everything and he is also my biggest challenge and one day he will be my biggest success.

A message for Alexei in Russia

2011-07-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

Before we left Russia September 11th, 2009 he said to my son, "Come back to Russia."

2 years later, we are taking our son back to Russia with us to pick up his sister. I suppose I never thought Alexei would be going back to Russia so soon as we hoped to make it a family trip a decade down the line, not a couple of years.

The words, "Come back to Russia" gave me a deeper sense of where we come from and how important it is, whether we are thousands of miles away or next door. My husband being from Canada, myself from America and my son being from Russia has given me a greater understanding of the deep roots we cling onto in our home countries. Of course, our home here, where ever we make our home is our home sweet home, but where we are from will always be a part of who we are.

I love when my son says, "I am from Russia." My grandmother also had roots in Russia and culturally we knew it, even though she wasn't born in Russia. She was Russian from personality, to upbringing and how we looked at life. Now, I am not stereotyping, rather giving a cultural identity to her and how she raised us. She was strong, independent and quite the leader in success. Nothing held her back and therefore nothing should hold us back, just as she would say to me, "Do what you do and do it for you."

The importance for my children and their lives to hold onto their roots play such a priority in our lives. When I created my son's life journal, separate from his life book, I created it with pages dedicated to the cultures of Canada, America and Russia. I wrote him a book in a journal, "Dear Alexei" on every page from before we picked him up until now to show who he is, who he has become and I hope it will guide him when I am gone so that he never forgets where he came from.

Although we are taking him back to Russia at age 3, I hope he can return many more times to where he is from and how far he has come as this is what makes us who we are in the present.

Waiting for a court date? Here are some thoughts for you.

2011-07-20T22:18:00.000-07:00

I often sit and remember who was in our life at the time we brought Alexei home and who was instrumental in finalizing our son's future. The difference these people make in each child's life is too great for words.

Tonight, as I write this, I think about what they are doing now for other families who wait to bring home their child or children and sit on the edge hoping the process will all work out. The not knowing is difficult and I give support to all of those out there in the waiting process. Yes, it can feel like one of the hardest things you will go through in your life time. Often times as some would say going through labor, just elongated over days or months. The contractions only get stronger once that call comes in saying, "You have a referral!" OR "You have a court date". With many I know who have received their court dates, I imagine they are feeling similar to what I first felt, first time around, a rush of energy, excitement and then a reality check, what do I do and how do I get it done as fast as possible.

Either way patience is key. See, we are all in need of rushing to our child, getting them home now but what I have learned through the process and through so many who have gone through this is that, having it done right, having it done by the highest quality of people is the most important factor in bringing your child home and having your journey as smooth as possible on a dirty country road.

I am asked to write many e-mails to possible adoptive parents almost weekly and what I find myself saying first is, find the people who are right for you, the people who will be there looking out for you and be your seat belt when things get bumpy.

I also find myself saying thank you over and over to those people and what I realize often is that those thank you's will never add up to what I truly feel about them. They have become a part of our family, whether they are 1000 miles away or 12000, they are the connection between you and your child. The glue that will bring you and your child together.

Appreciate, respect and handle with care.

Photo Updates

2011-07-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

More Paperwork corrections....

2011-07-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

This week has been one of those challenging times in an adoption where you have to hold tight and just work on getting the things done asked of you while also keeping your emotions in check.

This time around in this adoption, I am also running around after a three year old, which makes me wonder why I ever complained last time haha, kidding, every experience is different.

My mother is visiting from out of town and this is the first week she has been here since Christmas and what happens? I end up having to drive to the capital while she and my son tag along all day Monday, then over night a package to the agency, feeling half way relieved that our papers were off to court, I receive a call Wednesday morning with another correction needed and another drive down to the capital on Friday day with my son and mother. I think with the stress of having to change plans and stay on top of the adoption, it can take a toll on the emotions, no doubt.

And then there is the moment where I should just let things go and breathe and get through as this is a means to an end.

All in the same moment, I am dealing with our neighbors dogs who have broken through our fence 3x in the last week. This will be fixed with us buying lattice for the entire fenced area as a secondary layer.

I have also decided that this was the week to pull my entire closet apart and get organized before our little girl comes home. With lots of clothes to give away, I have now made even larger messes.

We may not be back to Russia for another 6 weeks or so, having said this, I am tug boat carrying around the rest of the baggage before unloading at the dock and getting ready to take another journey.

Suddenly I feel ancy. . . ready, set, go pejulsta?

2011-07-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on a Plane

2011-07-05T13:22:00.000-07:00

I am writing this as a bit of an exercise as I evaluate why I feel the passion I do in helping the children out there who do not have homes or wait minutes, days, months, years passing by not knowing what it is like to have a bed to wake up in that is all theirs or run out in the morning with one intent, to receive a huge hug from a parent, Mama or Papa. The small things we take for granted every day, those moments, whether simply being able to sit with your son or daughter and realize you are giving them a life, a starting point to something greater.

I will never forget the moment my son was in my arms and I held him up to a tree to touch a leaf. The leaf between his fingers widened his eyes and yet almost gave him a reality check, like, this is good, this is different, but this is what I needed these past 15 months was to feel the leaves between my fingers, touch the grass beneath my feet and feel the warmth wrapped up in a mother's arms.

When I leave Russia, I sit in the plane my head pressed against the plane glass looking down with a heavy heart. There will never be a day that passes that I do not think of Russia, of the children I leave there each time wanting to give them more. I have said this before, a piece of my heart will forever be in Russia.

Michael and I may not have been able to conceive and in some crazy thought, I am so grateful as I would not have the beautiful son I cherish each day or the daughter who is coming into our lives soon. The road may be seriously difficult, incredibly challenging, life altering and often bumpy but in the end I have realized my life direction was and is to continue to be a part of supporting these children who need a home by doing whatever it takes to give them a little piece of what we all have each day in our lives.

A Walk at Dusk

2011-06-13T14:39:00.001-07:00

A walk at dusk with my son is exactly what we needed as a mother and son. Alexei had been wrestling with the idea of going to Russia when we first came back from Vladivostok.

I decided to ask my son to go on a walk one evening while the sky darkened to a pale twilight.

"Alexei, would you like to take a walk with Mama?" I held out my hand and he ran down the stairs.

"I want to walk with Mama! Bye, Papa," he yelled up the stairs. We shut the door and set out. He held my hand and for moments I tried to make a permanent imprint in my mind the feeling of his small hand in mine. The trees rustled with the breeze and we continued to walk down the quiet street.

"Alexei, Mama and Papa need you to go to Russia with us to pick up your sister. We are coming back, all of us on a plane." I paused, "I need for you to come with us on the plane, can you do this?" I could see his little black converse tennis shoes kicking up some of the gravel along the side of the pavement.

"Pick up my sister?" he asked.

"Da, you, Mama, Papa and your sister. We will stay in a hotel, play tennis if you want, play every day if you want, watch movies and be together, then we will come back and see grandma and grandpa at home."

"Okay, I go to Russia." We walk along and I point to a maple tree.

"Do you want to touch the tree?" I ask. He has always been so curious about the trees, flowers and his surroundings since I brought him home.

"Yes, pick me up." I hold him up to the leaves and he touched them, rubbing the leaf between his fingers.

"Cool huh? They have all turned green for spring. See the flowers?" Pointing to a small patch of purple daisies.

"Flowers," he repeats. "The moon! The moon!" He points into the sky and there is a bright full white moon.

"It's beautiful Alexei!"

"Yes, moon is beautiful. We fly up there in a plane to Russia next to the moon?" he asks.

"We fly in a plane to Russia in the sky, yes."

He says, "Okay Mama, I will go to Russia to pick up my sister."

There is nothing more intense at times than the bond between mother and son. A communication that tugs at my heart and feels complete. This week his suitcase arrived with his name on it, a back pack and a dvd case. The day the package arrived, I had not realized he had taken his other dvd case and chosen what movies to bring with him and put them in his new one and packed his suitcase with his favorite monkey, Buzz Lightyear and toys he wanted to bring with him.

At one point he rolled the suitcase to the door and said, "Let's go to Russia now."

If you feel like no matter what you say, things do not seem to be connecting or your toddler feels overwhelmed, a quiet walk seems to bring this mother and son together on a whole other level.

Nordstroms Exclusive for Russian Season

2011-06-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

Nordstrom's has started their seasons for "It's a Small World".

The Spring Season was Japan.
The Summer Season is India.
The Autumn season will be Scotch.
The Winter Season will be Russia.

I cannot wait for the Russian season as not only will there be specially made "It's a Small World" clothing for babies and children with the influence being Russian, there will also be the Petunia Picklebottom Diaper Bag collection also influenced by Russia.

Alexei has one of the green "It's a Small World" T-shirts and it is wonderful with a globe and several countries represented in a circle.

So keep a look out for the winter season!

One of those days

2011-06-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

You know the days, the one's where your son cries about five times, says "I want chocolate milk" and you bring him chocolate milk and he says, "I don't want chocolate milk". Or when he takes his suitcase and heads for the door, "I am going to Russia, let's go." And I say, "no, we need to wait for our call and then we can go to Russia" and he says, "No, we're going to Russia now!".

Sigh. Yes, it is one of those days where again, I check for gray strands of hair.

When Emotions Run High....

2011-06-08T11:50:00.000-07:00

Here is a little something when emotions run high. Adoption is one of those times in life when it feels like the exam of your life.

Thoughts to Live By

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school -- you'll be working for them in the future.

If women were meant to chase men, don't you think God would of made them worth chasing?

A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be the one sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!"

-Anonymous

A GIRL? Well, I am just not sure....

2011-05-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

HA!
A girl? Well, I am just not sure.... was my way of thinking until we decided on a girl and guess what? Oh man, oh man, has the pink started to trickle in and the incredible clothes, shoes and decor. She is going to be one very chic cutie pie. Take a look and see what this Tom Girl Mama has turned into ;)

The fashion compliments of Kinder Britches and Nordstroms.

Cordelia Anastasia's Room Thus Far

2011-05-18T22:02:00.001-07:00

Three Going on Thirty

2011-05-17T01:20:00.000-07:00

It is 1:21am. Why am I not asleep? Good question since my son slept 8 hours the night before and has let me sleep very little since we came home.

Leaving our toddler at home with grandma was a good idea for all of us or was it? I laugh as I write this since in all honesty on some level I think we did pretty well considering it was our very FIRST ever separation away from our son since we brought him home. This should be a good thing but man did he not think so and still does not.

I have to say Alexei took about 2 days to really warm up to me again, fully. Tonight as he crawled into his toddler bed, looked over at me, he said, "Mama, I love you", then said it in Russian (I think he thinks he has to say it twice lol) and then he blew me a loud kiss with his palm waving in the air. Yes, it tugged at my heart and we both stared at one another for a few moments. I knew then he was telling me that he really loved me but did not know how to feel with us having left him to go to Russia.

See, a month prior, he begged us to let him go to Russia with us. We did not feel it was a good idea at the time with the very long plane ride. Let's face it, he is an energetic boy who most likely would try to entertain everyone around us and crawl under the seats. Not calm moments for us parents who were going on an emotional and at times stressful trip.

Looking back with what happened in Russia and our little to no energy we were grasping onto like it was pixie dust and we were going to fall out of the sky without it confirmed it was a good decision.

Having said this we are juggling with the idea of bringing him on our next trip. We may need one extra person lol but it may be something Alexei really is ready for and quite possibly trying to communicate to us.

Our 3 year old is a boy going on 30. Some days, I often wonder who is ahead of who haha in this family.

He has said his sister's name 5 times in the past 24 hours, unprompted and at random times speaking about her. He is watching us decorate her room, trying on her flip flops haha and working on wanting to help out as much as possible.

Our son is very aware he is Russian, Papa is Canadian and I am American and we are one big happy family. He waves around all 3 flags and often tries to use Russian words. We also subscribe to Russian television and surround him with tons of hockey from both countries and instill in him his Mama's California surfer type attitude and ease.

Having said this he recently said, "I want to go to Russia" after we came back in reference to coming with us to meet his sister and bring her home. He is so completely aware of the videos of his adoption and now seeing her photos and both of them from the same baby home, I am beginning to think he believes all children come from this room ;)

He did well when we were away but he did give Grandma a run for her money, BIG TIME and 3 weeks is a very long time to endure Alexei's ability to get what he wants and/or let us know how he feels.

A new question to ponder. A better understanding of my son's feelings.

Back from Vlad

2011-05-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

30 hours and counting, yes still awake in order to get back on west coast time.

Alexei had his big "3" birthday today. Very exciting as we flew in just in time to celebrate with a little cake and Chinese food with his grandma and grandpa from Toronto.

We brought him home a special Chuberashka (sp) matroshkya doll. So AWESOME. I could not believe when Michael found this at the Vladivostok Airport. It has all of the characters from Gena to the old lady inside. Such a collectors item.

My 3 year old watched videos of his new sister and then collapsed in his bed wearing his adorable Woody pajamas.

Our Vladivostok Trip:
It was a very difficult trip for us this time from not knowing that we were traveling until 6:30pm a day prior to leaving to finally thinking we our referral was official to arriving and losing our referral. Emotions ran high but as with any adoption, we know there are risks.

The first night we wrestled with the idea of leaving without a new referral or to look at a new referral. A few minutes later the first night, we decided fate must have wanted it this way and decided to go ahead with a new referral. Our hearts weighed heavily as we looked over her photo, rushed to get the medicals reviewed by UW, which by the way had a response from them within 9 hours, EFFICIENT.

The next day we had to go to the MOE and receive permission to see the new referral. When I say no one has changed in the last 2 years, I mean they are all still the same people we remember being interviewed by from our last adoption. Brings back plenty of memories.

We were given permission, had a nice lunch in Vladivostok (Really good Borscht) and headed up to the baby home. It was a long drive, more so now because Vladivostok is getting a complete make over by the airport and down past the Vlad Inn. They have torn up all of the roads to pave new one's as well as making them wider with some bridges over top. There is also a very large structural bridge being built across the ocean off of the Vladivostok port. Should look very cool when done but in the mean time prepare for a very bumpy, sometimes muddy adventure.

When we arrived at the baby home, we met with Dr. T and showed her a video of Alexei. Within a few moments she was ready and was brought to us. She was very calm, studied us a bit looking at me, then at Michael. She would frown and then give a look of surprise a few times before she began to reach out and touch Michael's hand.

She is 13 months old and is probably one of the happiest babies I have ever seen. Smiles, laughs, babbles and communicates very well letting us know what she wants: i.e. up, down, rocked and walked.

With help, she can walk all around, however independently she will use chairs to pull herself up and start to walk on her own. She is one strong little lady though as she giggles and throws the rattle into my face lol.

She has very little to no hair, normal around that age in a baby home. Hazel green/blue eyes with a hint of brown. Maybe light brown hair to very dark blonde. A chubby cheeked sturdy ball of sweetness. You can see in her eyes the warm heart she carries and the kindness she possesses. Of course she was dressed in 3 layers of clothes, yup all 3 and the outer one was a sweater outfit. Poor sweetie, as if you put your hands near her neck, she was perspiring, dripping wet.

6 teeth are in and boy can she chew up a storm from clothes to fingers. She tried it all, even pulling hard on my earrings, didn't wear them again.

I can see already she is a jewelry and shoes lady. She LOVED her shoes, played with them for a lot of the time.

Her development is incredibly strong from imitating Michael tapping a chair 2x to her tapping a chair 2x. She was able to clap after we did and responded to whatever we were hoping to have her do.

The 2nd day came around and we had to go back up to the home. The driver if you can believe it drove about 50 - 70 kilometers the whole way. YUP, a trip that takes a normal 1.5 hours with our coordinator took a little over 2 with him. It was a long day. This time when they brought her out, she teared up a bit, maybe for a minute and then studied us once again.

We were so exhausted from getting everything done in a matter of a few days that we would head back to the hotel, take a walk, think about the times with Alexei there, maybe have some soup and fries or potato skins, take our baths and collapse.

I was having a difficult time sleeping though I admit because I really needed to work through everything in a very short time and study the medicals, think about our bonding time with the new referral and make decisions.

The last day's visit was a tough one. Emotionally exhausted and physically spent, we headed out early for another visit. This time when she was brought out to us, she smiled widely and knew who we were. She was so sweet, very ambitious about wanting to try more walking and had the most wonderfully kind head butts with me just looking into my eyes as she pressed her little forehead against mine.

So, I should be finalized on my decision right? Or so I hoped. We met with the SW and my husband was sure as anything, he loved our little girl from the moment he met her not to say that I didn't but I think it was all very overwhelming for me. The SW looked into my eyes as if she read everything I was thinking and in short said, "You have doubt, take your time and try harder". Well, that was it. I felt like I was read inside out and felt extremely emotional following the next couple of hours. We ended up having to call it a day and asked to go back to the hotel as we were just that tired and drained. We felt like we just needed an hour to recoup and talk over our decision as we were to sign final papers the next day.

Michael and I returned to the Vlad Inn where we got room service and talked for a bit. The thing that still continues to enter my head was the word, "Ohana", no one gets left behind and all is family including those adopted. I knew the moment we met her we would be signing the papers for her, I just wasn't sure how I felt about everything that had happened in a short amount of time.

The next day we signed the papers and left to the Vladivostok Airport. Then through Korea and straight on to Seattle. Very, very long day so far as I am now writing this at almost midnight the same day.

Tonight after celebrating our Alexei's birthday, we sat and watched the videos we had taken. With certainty I can say, she is the perfect choice for our family. She has the sweetest disposition and is very strong willed. I could not ask for more and I cannot wait to see what is in store for us in the next few months.

Our First FULL Day in Vladivostok

2011-05-10T13:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, we flew in from Korea after a stay in the transit hotel, which is the best option if you must wait a few hours as there is nothing like a shower and a place to sleep after a 12 hour flight.

We arrived at the Vlad Inn where we skyped our little on back home and had a small dinner as we were utterly exhausted. It is so nice to be back. There is a lot of construction going on around the high way all the way to the airport as they construct a new airport, buildings and high way. A bumpy ride but interesting to see.

Things have changed as not often but sometimes happens. We are trying to go with the flow and stay positive. The first few moments were a bit teary but we have gotten through and are wrapping our heads around a new outcome. I will say more when I know for sure what we have decided, however I know some of you will get this right away.

I must say the doctors at UW International Medicine is SO the way to go if you ever have to have a new look over of medical documents. They responded within hours with lots of questions and answers.

Today is a day at the Education office and possibly driving to the baby home. Nothing is set in stone just yet but the office visit.

I think the arrival at the hotel was the most interesting part of our trip so far as memories flooded back to us when we looked down the hallway and could envision our little Alexei running down the halls just 1.8 years ago or thinking of all of the good times we had with Christi and Tom and our favorite families from Vlad. It was such a wonderful experience to have everyone here.

When we went into the White Rabbit again, nothing has really changed but I could see everything swoosh into my mind from what we experienced, the laughter, the nerves, the worry and seeing so many incredible people become parents for the first time or again.

Well, that is all, must get dressed to get on with the day.

The Toy Story Saga Continues

2011-05-05T12:52:00.001-07:00

My Little Russian Boy: Toy Obsessed

2011-05-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

Toy Story has essentially created toy stories among parents who have obsessed toddlers who cannot think, speak or dream of anything else but...

My son has woken up in his sleep the last couple of nights saying, "Woody costume". He has asked for the Woody Costume for his birthday in two weeks, however it has become more of an obsessive compulsive issue and one that tests a parent's patience to the brink of insanity. I have even thought about changing his birth date.

I must say I alone spend roughly 10 hours with my toddler listening to "Mama, I need my Woody costume now, please Mama right now." If I say you need to wait until your birthday or I do not have one in this house or redirect with let's put on your Buzz costume, the TEARS, I capitalize as they are Large TEARS start streaming and then they go into uncontrollable temper tantrums. I have tried EVERYTHING to redirect, to talk it out, to help him understand (I gave in and ordered it out of a desperate moment) that the mail man is bringing it in a couple of days. Is this satisfaction for a 2 year old who needs it NOW? Nope. In fact, it gave me such a headache, I crawled off to bed zoning out on television without telling my husband and left him with the 2 yr old talking obsessively about needing a lot of toys. (Mind you he has tons). He is a popular boy.

So 800mg of ibprofen later, one valium for muscle spasms and I wake up to "Mama, I need a lot of toys now." He has in the little time we have in the morning, thrown a toy at me, banged a door and is terribly upset that he supposedly does not have a lot of toys and specifically the Woody costume. I have explained to him that his behavior must improve to get his Woody costume and that being kind and respectful to Mama and Papa is a must. Having said this, I have no idea as to whether this is anxiety from feeling that since we are heading to Russia soon, he is acting out or simply being Toy Story obsessed, which I have heard can be an issue for toddlers.

Needless to say, I am open to any and all suggestions if other parents have gone through this toddler, demanding toy stage. For someone who has been going through this for a week, I am ready for advice :)

Super Woman is Dead?

2011-04-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

Adoption, kids, family, friends, finances, health, daily obligations, cleaning, pets, romance and a personal life?

I was speaking with my life transitional coach, specifically adoption support that I had the first go around and she said she had read the term, "Super Woman" was a dead word and that when women gained more freedom, what they often gained was another job. Let me explain as I have been thinking about this a lot lately with the amount of work on my platter, not plate.

My female line is the perfect example of women with careers and the freedom to make choices.
Great Grandmother: Teacher
Great Aunt: Nurse
Grandmother: Award Winning Journalist
Mother: Crisis and Trauma Counselor and University Professor

Culturally speaking there were plenty of high expectations for us as women in our family. My grandmother was the perfect example of a career woman from Hollywood journalism, San Diego CBS news anchor to flying into Vietnam in an active war zone in a helicopter. A tough Russian/British woman who would kiss us at a 2 inch distance on each cheek. She was incredible at who and what she did. That leaves me remembering how scared I was to interview her in high school as I thought I would not be able to do the job she did during a real interview. Needless to say, she was hardcore and very classy.
My mother took a different route so to speak. She works 60 - 80 hours a week, always has to make it to give us a great life. There were sacrifices for both women.

When I was born my grandmother was ready to raise a daughter. My mother and her mother were gone so much during their career, the little time left was to fulfill the rest of the expectations from hiring a nanny as my grandmother did to sending us off with grandparents as my mother did.

Where were the men? Well, my grandmothers father drowned at La Jolla Shores Beach while she watched at a young age, no one could get to him. My mother's father died when she was only 8 years old, also an award winning journalist who became ill after covering the test sites in Las Vegas. My great grandmother and aunt raised my grandmother a bit as my great grandfather passed away early as well.

Is Super Woman dead or has she just taken on another role?

Funny, but when you think of yourself as a woman, mother, wife, home maker, lets take it back to the Donna Reed era, now think of yourself in the modern era as a woman, mother, wife, home maker, career woman, care taker and that is just the beginning.

I look at my life and I am in no way complaining. I am a woman often thought of as solid as a rock, "HunterAnn? Oh yeh, she has it all." I often tell my friends that is not the case and nor is it easy as pie.
I think they just look at me like, "Yeh, right."

A week in the life of ME looks a bit like this:

- Adoption Paper work: I take care of 95% of the paper work. This includes making phone calls, setting up appointments, pleading with medical doctors to make copies of their license for our adoption or hoping the bills for each test, psychologist appointment, cpa appointment will not be an arm and a leg. Making copies, scanning images, e-mailing, sending out documents over night, lots of UPS visits, notary visits, drives to the capital for apostilles and so on. If my husband says, would you get the financial lists and e-mail them today, well that is another 2 hour job and plenty of research. Making meetings that fit into my husband's schedule, taking time off and hoping my husband can plead with his company to get 4 weeks of vacation, which does not include the days off for all of the appointments needed for this year.
- I pack
- I write up the 9 page instructions list for housesitter, mother's helping etc with Alexei.
- I am currently working on a 46 item list that is on my wall for the next 1.5 weeks before we take off.

- House Cleaning: On a lucky month, I get some one to clean half of my house, however in a daily week, that would be me. Yes, doing the dishes at midnight and hoping I get the toys picked up once that day. There are not high hopes in this department just being able to comfortably live in a clean house.

- Cooking: Well, breakfast for Alexei, Lunch for us and dinner when I can fit it in. If not, take out is there, sad but reality for now.

- Grocery Shopping: Sigh, this is in and out. So I get about 6 hours a week in baby sitting and during that time it is making my appointments, running to them, and doing errands like grocery shopping, mailing, etc. A very tight schedule.

- Work: I freelance. At this point between work, child, adoption stuff, house, pets, etc what mom doesn't feel like she works from the moment she gets up until midnight.

- Each night I wake up and cover Alexei in his blankets, usually 3-4x a night.

- My son: I love him more than anything but he came to us with the Disneyland Syndrome. He does not take naps but maybe 1x or 2x a week for an hour and he goes to bed at 11pm if we are lucky and only sleeps about 9 hours. He is actually on a pediatrician herbal remedy for now until the syndrome wears off. It means he is tired but he wants to know about everything, see everything and not miss out on a thing. So what does this have to do with me? LOL, he is my side kick ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT. Super woman side kick. He is energetic, all over me and I love it but where does that leave me? Hanging in there.

- Pets: Love them, have had them for a long time. 5 cats, 2 dogs and 6 fish, 1 frog. The fish and the frog have their tank, the cats have their own cattery area and the dogs, well they run the house: 2 large shepherds.

- Friends: As my friends know, my door is always open whether it be 2am or a 4am phone call. Yup, that's right. If you need me, you know you can count on me and I will always do my best to be there. That's just me.

- Wife: Well, lol, sadly I am sure that takes last place at the moment. I love my husband more than anything and he is incredibly kind and patient. What I love is that I can look fine yet feel overwhelmed and he takes one look and says, "Talk to me." He is my rock. So although I am responsible for basically everything but the main financial flow, I have him to lean on while I let everything else lean on me. Date nights are maybe 1x a month so we enjoy our time together with Alexei.

Now, having to come to this point has taken SO much sacrifice. Yup, that's right. All of this work I do above and more is actually a good thing but comes at a very costly price. Am I tired? Hell yes. Am I hanging at the end of the rope a lot? Hell yes. Is it all worth it? I have to believe it is.

For example, the lady at the bank who I have been working on trying to order new $100 dollar bills as they only do this during Christmas. Again, yes they only do this during Christmas means I have had to apply as an adoptive mother who needs new bills LOL. Anyways, she asks me yesterday, "Oh, so I guess adoption costs what, like as much as me getting pregnant and having a baby right?" I smile and say, "Well, no, not really and tell her a number". She went silent and began working even harder like she felt suddenly a need to help me lol.

Going broke for awhile is a normal side effect of adoption for many. I know it can be quite a struggle and if we are lucky to adopt through loans, family and fundraisers for some, well that is HUGE LUCK and GOOD FORTUNE.

I suppose in short I LOVE BEING A WOMAN. And I would never ever trade it for the world.

I also want to give a HUGE THANKS to the women in my life for without you all and you know who you are who often e-mail me even when I do not have time to respond right away and simply say, "Hi, how are you?" or for the incredible woman who delivers me coffee maybe 1x-2x a week if I see her, your simple gestures offer me a world of difference in getting me through the day and to a special woman who says to me, "Don't worry about it" I may always reply and say,

"I'm fine", which means, I will deal and move on.
or
"Hanging in there", which means I am at the end of my rope but after a good cry or breathing moment, I will be good as new.

Being a woman means carrying various roles and enduring stretching limits but the rewards are great even if we have to wait for them.

I believe women have taken on greater roles, however I do not believe Super Woman is dead but rather Super Woman has evolved.

Parenthood

2011-04-20T18:25:00.000-07:00

Being a writer, I find myself incredibly passionate about people, feelings and experiences. Life just seems to be a bit heightened on a daily basis for myself and my husband who also writes. I suppose having to jump into someone's shoes and feel how they feel, cry, laugh, react and so much more is part of the role. When it comes to the show Parenthood, which has been on for awhile, I cannot say enough about how much I can relate to the characters and real life drama that is portrayed.

Needless to say, I choose to watch Parenthood during dinner and more often than not, end up with indigestion lol.

A few years ago my husband Michael and I were resolved to the fact we had been trying for 8 years to get pregnant. 8 years is a very a long time. We rode the emotional roller coaster of whether we were just meant to be one of those couples with decent salaries, traveling the world and having dogs as children. Nothing against this by the way, it was a fun start. For some it works, for others like us we began to see our friends and family with children enjoying what life had brought them, the experiences, the ups and downs and as much as we loved the two of us, video games, 500 dvd's or so, it became a bit overdone. Yes, plenty of freedom and it is fun, for awhile.

Michael began to want more in our lives and I followed suit. We confronted fertility by going through all of the testing and fun visits. We never did go through IVF as I suppose on one of our numerous trips, we decided not to invest in something that may not work and then we saw a family who adopted and it was as if a light bulb went on. That was it, we knew, this was for us and we could travel and bring a child into our life who needed us as well as us needing and wanting a child.

We never realized just how involved the paper work, the journey was going to be but we did know it would be like climbing a mountain, a rocky, crumbly steep climb.

Our house is now rumbling with an almost three year old flying through the house, more often in a Buzz costume shouting, "To infinity and beyond, I come in peace" as his arms are stretched out flying like a plane.

I think how much our lives have changed and even more how much my sons life has changed. His personality came into fruition from a quiet thinker to an outgoing child filled with excitement, kindness and affection.

We are heading into our second adoption and lucky enough to be able to go back to the same city to bring home a sister for Alexei and a daughter for us. I look forward to meeting her and wonder how her personality will be.

Some ask is this your last one? I say, yes, but not by choice. For every child out there I can give a life long home to is a great gift for us, for our family and for them.

If you would have asked me whether I was going to have children 10 years ago. I may have said, "probably not".

I am entirely too happy to follow in the footsteps of characters like those in Parenthood where we all can relate or will come across a similar experience.

Life is short and to be able to share our moments with each other and our children is awesome.

DeJa Vu: 3 Weeks Until Travel

2011-04-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Over the course of a week and a half, we have our dates to travel.
We are excited and also very much in a bit of a surprise still as things seemed to have happened over night.

One interesting point to all of this has been the timing. For example on April 14, 2009 I signed a visa travel application to go and meet Alexei and on April 14, 2011 I have once again signed a visa travel application to be introduced to a baby girl.

Such a coincidence. There are times when I attempt to hide from the signs that often slap me in the face and boy do they frequently wake me up thinking of how strangely numbers, timing and our lives have some sort of purpose. I may not have the answers, however my life has often followed a pattern with another new adventure on the way.

As Michael continuously reminds me, "Our lives frequently go a different direction then what we thought they were going to go." This is very true. I find that if you think you have your life planned out, think again as there is no reason to fight what is supposed to happen. Is it fate? I do not know, however if the stars align... life happens.

In a few weeks we hope to be meeting a baby girl who will hopefully make her way into our life. It is funny as I have not met her yet, however I find myself listening to lyrics that say, "Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel, Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me. You're perfect, you're perfect to me!" - Pink.

As a mother and one who will be a mother to a daughter this year, I find myself as a woman with strength and character that I hope to pass on to my little girl knowing that no matter what, she will always be perfect to me.

Our Referral!!!!

2011-04-07T17:27:00.001-07:00

The Call:

Alexei is saying, “Mama, tacos, tacos Mama.” So I am driving into a taco place for us to eat lunch. I get out of the car and my phone rings and I see who it is and I think, “Oh no, what did I do wrong in my paper work?” My wonderful coordinator says to me, “We have a baby girl for you!” And I just went, “No way! This is a joke right?” As if, what a cruel joke that would be haha.

Needless to say, my little guy did not get his tacos at that place. I had to get back in the car and let my coordinator know I had to call Michael first before I hear much more. Of course, Michael is back at the office with a huge emergency meltdown of some sort and he has to get it fixed so he is no where to be reached and I am with this heavy news wanting to tell anyone.

Alexei hears sister but his mind is on the “tacos” so we hit the Taco Bell drive thru, “Sorry Alexei” and while I am in the drive thru, Michael calls. The guy says, $2.32, well there was no way I could eat after hearing that news, my stomach was turning, all good but in a way of just pure shock and adrenaline. The guy at the drive thru says to me, “Sorry maam, you gave me the wrong card.” FLUSTERED I was handing him a card that was not about money LOL and it looked like I had tears in my eyes so he just smiled and I said, “I'm so sorry, I just heard amazing news, be patient with me.” LOL. Anyone who knows me well knows I will strike a conversation up with just about anyone.

Poor Michael is sitting there on the other end in the middle of his stress and he is like, “I am not surprised. Anytime we think something else is going to happen, it goes the opposite.” lol. He is calm, annoyingly calm but I understand why.

I end up calling people, no one is available. I felt like I had news to share and no one to share it with. So, mothers I know you know what I am talking about when your whole physical self feels like it is going to explode with what the heck just happened?! I sat in my car in the drive way, then stood on the outside, realizing the first two people to really hear all of the news were my neighbors who happen to be standing there who I do not know well. YUP, they got an ear full. Poor ladies. LOL.

So, in the last 25 hours, I have had a referral, a full medical consultation, a referral acceptance, travel packet and have barely stopped to be able to write this little tale of what happened.

Lesson learned: When you think something is going to go one way, better be prepared for a change of plans.

That's all I can say for now..... :)

My Thoughts on Re- Adoption

2011-03-14T14:26:00.000-07:00

Re-Adoption is not for everyone in particular myself, however I do know many parents do this re-adoption and it is really what each individual feels is best for their family. I respect their decision, however here is why it is not for me or for our son.

My parents divorced when I was 2 years old and my mother re-married a few years later. There was an adoption done and my birth certificate was changed as it is normal for legal matters and this is just what happens.

This is a huge reason I cannot do re-adoption for my son. I feel like when my birth certificate was changed, a part of me was then changed and taken from me as it changed a bit of who I was when born. A part of my history.

I accept the Russian adoption and birth certificate done where he is from in Vladivostok, Russia and we are his parents as I can explain to him his story as I have done in his life book, however I can never have him re-adopted here as it is just not the "real" birth certificate. It is like saying he was born here in the U.S., this is my understanding and this is not true and therefore I cannot change that for him. I cherish his Russian culture, where he is from and cannot wait to take him back to Russia and know where he is from later in his life.

For me to change his birth certificate to a U.S. one is making a decision for him he may not want later in life and may resent.

At the moment:

He was born in Russia: LOVE that about him and would not want to change that for the world.
He is now a U.S. Citizen and Russian Citizen. Again, LOVE it, what a lucky boy to have both for now.
At age 18, he can decide what he wants to do with his citizenship and this will be his decision alone.

I love my boy with all of my heart and both his Papa and I feel very strongly that he can make his own decisions later in life on how he wants to live his life. We will be there to guide him.

I do realize there are advantages in the case of needing certified copies, however usually you just make a copy, notarize and apostille these copies. If you need the original birth certificate than I can understand this.

The personal and legal issues that are connected with these decisions make it a difficult decision overall as I see parents on one side saying they would never re-adopt here in the U.S. and I see parents who rush to re-adopt.

I would love to know the reasons, if willing to share those who want to re-adopt in the U.S. for as much research as I have done, it seems there are possibly good reasons for people to adopt on the legal front.

- 27 states do not recognize often the adoption decree. I am a bit put off by this as he is a U.S. citizen.

- The need of certified copies of birth certificates, which I believe you do not necessarily need several of the original birth certificates. Have any parents had issues with non-readoption in the U.S.?

First Ice Skating Adventure

2011-03-13T18:24:00.000-07:00

This weekend was Michael's birthday and we decided to spend the weekend together as a family. This ended up being a great chance to take Alexei out on his first skate today. He was of course dressed in a hockey jersey and an Ovechkin one at that!

After the skate we decided to go and measure him for hockey skates. Since he is only a size 7 in hockey size, size 8.5 in shoe size we had to order them SO his BAUER skates are on the way!

Within 2 minutes of sitting him down and lacing them up, a hockey coach came up to him from the Seattle Hockey Association and asked if he would be interested in the beginners hockey games/practices this summer. AWESOME! It must have been the fact he was fully hockey accessorized from gloves, helmet to jersey haha.

HomeStudy and Dossier 1

2011-03-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

Dossier 1 is just about ready along with the homestudy, hopefully by this week and no later than end of next week. Although I am still happy either way as it was a surprise to have such an early return on the fingerprints.

Last time around it took 5 weeks total, however fingerprints only took 3 weeks.

This time around we started the process in January and it is now second week in March, hopefully we can get the dossier to our agency by the end of March.

Some changes this time but nothing we cannot handle so far. It is funny but I am actually looking forward to the waiting period. I would not have said that last time, however I think it is a time where I can just wait for a call with excitement and not worry about what has to be done. Although, I do have to start preparing the dossier 2 lol but just preparations.

Kids Say the Funniest Things....

2011-03-09T15:14:00.001-08:00

Alexei: That's my sisters room.
(pointing to a photo)
Mama: Yes, it is.
Alexei: I love it!

________________

Alexei: No, I want those shoes.
Mama: Today, you have to wear these. It is cold outside.
Alexei: But I want those shoes, they are cooler.

________________

Conversation in regard to his babysitter
Alexei: I need the phone.
Mama: Why do you need the phone?
Alexei: I must call Juliya.
Mama: You will see her tomorrow.
Alexei: I must call Juliya. (I must not be understanding him ;))
Mama: Use your Elmo phone.
Two minutes later.
Alexei: Hello. Juliya? Yes, I must see you now so we can play. Come over. Bye bye.
A minute later he approaches me.
Alexei: Mama, you need to open the door, Juliya is here to play with me.

________________

Last night, no idea where or how he knew.
Alexei: Mama, I want to sit with you.
In bed getting ready to sleep.
Mama: It is bed time. You need to go to sleep.
Alexei: I want to sit with you. (I must be forgetful you see, he repeats the same thing a lot).
Mama: Okay, come on.
He pulls the covers up and look at me.
Alexei: Mama has boo boo on her shoulder?
Mama: Yes, Alexei but how did you know?
Alexei: Mama has boo boo on her shoulder you see.

_________________

Driving and leaving the house, we pass our regular coffee stop.
Alexei: Mama, I need my coffee now.
Mama: Alexei, you had hot cocoa already and I have had my coffee.
Alexei: I really feel like I need some coffee, you know, I really think so.
Mama: Listen to some music. Rock it out.
Alexei dancing in seat to some alternative song.
Alexei: Mama! Mama!
Mama:Yes?
Alexei: Stop at store, I need hot pockets.
Mama: We have some at home.
Alexei: No, I need hot pockets.

__________________

Discussing the television.
Alexei: Mama, I want to watch Pumpkin Jack please.
Mama: Maybe after lunch.
Alexei: Here is remote.
Mama: That is not the right remote.
Alexei: Here is remote. (he is now bringing me the 2nd remote)
Mama: I need another remote.
Alexei: Here it is Mama. (He has now brought me the 3rd remote)
Mama: I need the volume remote.
Alexei: Ok. (He runs looking and amazingly find the last remote. Honestly universal should really be the answer)
Alexei: I found it! Pumpkin Jack. Pumpkin Jack.
Mama: I don't have the move down here. (2 minutes later, Alexei is standing in front of me with the dvd. Sigh)
Alexei: Here is the movie. (looking at me hopeful)
Mama: Give me a second Alexei to finish this. (working on computer)
Background: "This is Halloween, this is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, in this town we call home...." Alexei is now singing the song as he dances around holding onto the dvd case.

_________________

A sampling of two year old conversations with my son. Some may be short and sweet, others very long and repetitive, but most of all, when it comes to every day conversation with my son, it can be quite hilarious.

Items to bring with you on Travels

2011-03-07T16:32:00.001-08:00

I have had to take another round of adoption classes and get prepared for the next adoption travel. In case you are traveling soon, I have provided a list of items to pack. I hope I remember everything. I have to say we used just about everything on these lists last trip and you can get them in a small size.
- soap
- antibacterial hand cleanser
- prescription medications
- sunscreen (I took the cloth sunscreen as they are lighter to pack)
- facial tissue
- toilet tissue (I took this and toilet seat covers as they are not often in bathrooms)
- scissors (I purchased the camping fold up one's and put them in my check in baggage)
- flash light (there are power outages)
- wet wipes (so handy)
- tape (these small things are not easy to find and often needed
- alcohol wipes (great for so many things, even cuts)
- first aid kit (REI has very tiny packages of antibiotic cream and hydrocortisone lotion for bites)
- gifts for children and coordinators
- tylenol, ibprofen, nyquil or anything else you may need (theraflu can be purchased in Russia, however good to have decongestants with you)
- stomach meds (often good in case of traveler's diarrhea, bad food etc, never know)
- pack breakfast or protein bars (these came in handy)
- pack instant bag soups (also came in handy)
- slippers (lived in a some sock slippers)
- book and/or dvds for the laptop (comes in handy with little one's too)

For the second trip
- all of the above
- baby blanket
- thermometer (comes in handy)
- umbrella stroller (Vlad Inn provides 2 for the hotel, however they are busy and you need one for the airport)
- baby carrier (such a great idea for bonding and for hands free situations)
- saline nose drops
- diaper rash cream (desiten, etc)
- baby soap (no tears shampoo/head to toe etc) (there are nice travel size packs)
- small toys
- baby clothes
- disposable diapers (they sell them in Russia, however good to have a few on hand too)
- baby hat (in case sun is out or it is cold)
- pacifier
- lullaby music (on lap top, mp3 player, a must)
- formula (well this is optional as in country will tell you what you need before pick up and often take you to buy baby food etc, ask be well informed on what your child has been eating, dilute juices, often they have had black tea so maybe a very light tea can be made)

The Journey Gets More Exciting...

2011-03-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

We were supposed to have to wait 13 weeks for our FBI fingerprints and they came in 7 weeks early!!! Wow, time and process is moving. Must keep up. I finally put together some wardrobe pieces and here they are (the fun part, right?)

This is For My Sister...... Oh Boy.

2011-02-21T14:15:00.000-08:00

A new post, a week closer to getting our dossier finished and into Russia.

This week has been fabulous as I have been able to catch up with parents in Russia and those working on getting to Russia. So many wonderful stories and exciting news shared.

With us, currently we are getting the rooms organized and ready for Alexei's sister as this was recommended that we be ready no matter how long we have to wait.

This brings us to the words, "This is for my sister....", which by the way I am hearing now almost daily. He is giving now hahaha. Alexei has taken a little wrought iron bicycle with basket into his sister's room along with a stuffed puppy with a bow on it, the pink poodle he "bought" for her himself among other things.

I have still been stuck on a theme for her room, however am working on narrowing it down to Paris, soft pale pink, black striping, black furniture from Alexei's room and am going to give in and make a pale pink rose lamp shade. Yes, making it to look like Pottery Barn's shade.

She has a pillow case from Potter Barn with the Eiffel tower etc. Her furniture is all wrought iron, all fully child proofed.

And at this point, I am not sure whether to mix in the Princess and the Frog lol. I have had to watch this movie daily and feel like I may be until we see her since it is Alexei's current favorite film.

He LOVES the jazz and the frogs dancing.
I must say with the way he dances, he just does it so well.

Back to the frogs and jazz.....

Russia: The New Adventure Has Arrived.

2011-02-17T13:06:00.001-08:00

A New Year, a New Adventure and one that will hopefully bring us a beautiful baby girl as a sister for Alexei and a daughter for us.

Our initial paperwork is almost in and we are preparing her room and gathering clothes and books together.
About 10 years ago, I had put a box aside and found little things, just in case one day I had a girl to give them too. Last night, I found the box while cleaning out my closet. I had forgotten what I had collected over the years and honestly did not think I would have a reason to open the box until now.

The box includes:
* A red short pleated, plaid skirt with black leather buckles.
* Barbie and Ken California Limited Edition dolls that are in surfer outfits and smell like sun tan lotion!
* The Mickey Mouse Limited Edition Barbie with Accessories.
* Soft Minnie and Daisy Duck onesie.
* Minnie Mouse Play Outfit.

And a bit more.
It is funny how things come around.

Ukraine Beginning...... Just Follow the Yellow Brick Road.

2011-01-07T22:53:00.000-08:00

This week has been extremely emotional from "what if's" to "where?" and to "how?" while finalizing our decision to take the next step in adopting from Ukraine.

Ukraine is a beautiful country located in Eastern Europe that shares a Russian history, which was important to us as we have our son from Russia. As we embark on this next journey, the paper work begins to flood in from the home study to the first dossier. At the moment, the application will be our first order of business to the agency, then our application for the home study will follow and then the home study itself will begin with 4 interviews and home visits.

This is not unfamiliar territory for us, however reminds me of when we began our process for Russia 2.5 years ago. The process for Ukraine is much easier, yet varies greatly when it comes to children's ages for adoption and the referrals. We are hoping for a 2-3 year old, preferably a girl, however we have been told there are more boys available at this time. Once our home study is in, we will then wait for a dossier date from Ukraine, which will be the deadline for turning in our complete dossier.
A couple of months following our dossier, we will be invited to the country to look at referrals of children Ukraine has chosen for us to look at and then we decide which child to meet.

The entire process will most likely take a year to complete and as with any adoption time can vary a month or so in one direction or the other.

Do I wonder how we will endure this process and if we will take it in stride and enjoy the ride? Yes.
Do I wonder what and who lies at the end of this winding yellow brick road? Yes.
Am I anxious? Yes.
Does this occupy much of my daily thinking? Yes.
Do I wonder how this transition will go? Yes.

Lots of questions and plenty of waiting time to think of the possibilities.

...... Stay Tuned.

A Passion for Adoption- A Few Words

2011-01-02T14:56:00.000-08:00

Adoption Awareness: For someone whose work is mainly online and spend a great deal of time reading adoption blogs and personal stories of struggles, it amazes me we do not have more to help children who are waiting for a life long home, many who if not adopted by age 12, end up on the streets, starving and sleeping in boxes.

Corporations give thousands upon thousands of dollars to causes each year as write offs, however adoption does not seem to be one of those causes in helping bring these children to their life long homes. Saving a child and giving parents the ability to raise a child in a loving home without going broke.

I'm not bashing Uncle Sam here, but I am saying, adoption is probably one of the most unselfish things to do in life and one that gives a child a second chance of an entire life time of good. The tax rebate is given after the adoption if finalized, however how do potential parents begin the process?I know we all donate to causes, sponsor things etc, however I was so surprised at how many fundraisers are out there for adoption for parents who have gone through IVF up to nine times, yup nine times and now they are hoping to bring home a child who otherwise may not have one. I wish there was a national charity where there was more help for those who want to help these parents, parents to be with bringing home a child in need of a home.

The average adoption can cost 20k dollars to 60k. Domestic can run higher if you are forced to start over a couple of times. The average parent to be must come up with the funds above within a year, cash out. On average sadly, many parents who have to prove financially capable, which many are on paper, then have to use credit cards to charge fees, empty their savings and hope for miles from the airplane accounts.

Alexei's doctor: 2 weeks ago became teary when she said I look at Alexei and see where he started and where he is now and it just makes me wonder where he would have been without being able to s...hine and become this incredible boy as he has so much potential. Catching us off guard because she was in tears, it was a very emotional meeting but the perfect example of why adoption is so important and how incredible it can be when just a few people make the choice for a life long commitment to an amazing child who waiting for them.